think like me...

LEFTY'S BACK !!!!!!

2005-06-09T12:06:00.000-04:00

But not here.
Blogger was simply not big enough to contain what has been born today.

Our hero, the Dark Imperial Overlord.....Lefty Jones has teamed up with fellow superhero/legion of doom...powerhouse Jericho Brown to bring you.....

Petty Rage.

So....what are you still doing here? Well, I suppose it's okay to dig around a bit for past nuggets of brilliance but after that....it's on to
Petty Rage.

It's everything you needed and so much more!

Come visit us there!

Return of the King

2005-06-01T22:52:00.000-04:00

Very soon......I shall return. Keep your eyes posted over the next few days!!!!

Rumors on the wind......will Lefty ride again?

2005-04-08T20:07:00.000-04:00

Check out today's news release on the future of our hero, LeftyJones!

Read the Story for yourself!

R.I.P.- "Think Like Me...." July 2004-April 2005"

2005-04-01T21:27:00.000-05:00

On the very day that I regained broadband access at my fingertips...in both home and my new places of work.
I've come to a decision.

That's right my friends.
Dead....dead as a fucking doornail.
I'd like to leave you all with something truly heartfelt....something gut wrenching and tear jerking but the fact is...

I don't really feel like it, it wouldn't be genuine. I've done with this body what I can and now...in true vampiric fashion...it's time to seek out a new host.

Besides....I haven't actually seen anyone from the blog universe that I patrol
ACTUALLY commit blog suicide and just go away....

So I figure...why not be the Kurt Cobain of this medium and eat the bullet with as little dignity as possible.

Now...mind you.
"Think Like Me" is dead....

but as for our hero, the dark imperial overlord, LeftyJones..????

Well....of course he lives on.
I'm a godamn superhero folks. Fucking bulletproof. Just because "Think Like Me" is dead does not mean that LeftyJones has left the god damn building.
No, not at all.

I've simply come to grips with the fact that in the sphere that I travel...

"Nobody loves a truly Cogent Synopsis...."

So with that.....this body dies and a new one is being sought out for posession.
Lefty will ride again.....and very soon. Like any dead guy...I'll probably listen to the eulogy attentively.
Unlike most dead guys...I'll have a chance to comment back.

For those of you looking for me....I won't be very hard to find.

Update

2005-03-24T03:26:00.000-05:00

OK....I came back and still haven't had time to begin captivating all of you with stories of travel and issues of life.
Seems as though having left my desk job I can't get anytime in front of the computer.
However, that's about to change.
As some of you may remember, prior to my leaving for Austria...one of my business partners and I bought a bar/restaurant and are in the midst of doing an extensive renovation turning the location into a much more modern bar and less of a 1970's, hideously colored mint julip styled restaurant. The renovation is going well as this is our second bar and we've had a chance to learn from some of our experiences when redoing the first one.
Sooooo.....as a result I've been a bit consumed...You know....stimulating the economy and creating jobs....unlike many of our bitchy and whiny republican friends who want moan about constant tax cuts instead of going out and increasing their income for a change.

ANYWAY.....as of tomorrow our office should be complete and our computers installed, meaning that....Lefty will again be able to write as the spirit moves him and criticize those pompous blowhards who have had the last few weeks to bask in their simpleness.

I look forward to jumping back in....especially as I have a redesign on the way to liven things up.
Bear with me....I'm about to be back.
That is, just as soon as I get done DOING the things that our Republican friends only TALK about.

I Nearly Lost You.....

2005-03-20T22:02:00.000-05:00

Well....I'm back.
I just returned from Europe, from Austria, from the Alps.
I had some time to think, time to read some good books, some time to conquer some fears,(ski lifts) and some time to ponder just exactly what it is that I'm trying to do here...or going to do here in the future.
I haven't quite gotten over the travel and as a result I'm going to be short tonight.
Of course, now that I've killed off my readership by disappearing for the last few weeks I'll probably just be talking to myself anyway.
Of course, a little bit of craziness is often the sign of genius anyway soooo....

There are going to be some changes around here.
Hopefully ones you'll enjoy and definitely ones that I'll enjoy more.
Like any megalomaniac worth their salt, I love the sound of my own voice and with that.....

I'll be talking tomorrow.

For those of you that posted your encouraging words on my last post. Thanks for your thoughts....I took them to heart.
There is much to be said...
and as I've discovered, there is also much not worth saying.
I'm going to leave those things behind now and move to the new.
Until tomorrow.

So What?

2005-03-07T20:57:00.000-05:00

I've sat at the keyboard a few times in the last couple of days and found there was nothing.
I didn't really feel there was much to say.
After thoroughly enjoying the Che_Lives Incident, I must admit to not really knowing where I wanted to go next.
I'm bored of all the Politics although I must admit that I never thought I'd see the day.
Maybe I need a blog makeover....need to do something new.
Of course, not being very html savvy...my hands feel a bit tied there too.
It's probably just a phase......

I'll figure out some new color scheme...something that interests me more,
and maybe all of you as well.
In the meantime....I guess I'll update some long overdue links and leave you with a snippet of the lyrics to the BEST Ministry song ever!

So What...

.......Die! die! die! die!
So what, it’s your problem to learn to live with
Destroy us, or make us saints
We don’t care, it’s not our fault that we were born too late
A screaming headache on the brow of the state
Killing time is appropriate
To make a mess and fuck all the rest, we say, we say
So what? so what?
Die! die! die! die!

Die!
Now I know what is right
I’ll kill them all if I like
I’m a time bomb inside
No one listens to reason,
It’s too late and I’m ready to fight!
So what? now I’m ready to fight!

One Good Woman!!!

2005-03-07T12:56:00.000-05:00

One Good Woman

So loving.....so generous...so selfless...it's just so touching to see such a giving spirit.

Here's to you Sign Woman...may all women see a shining example in you!

Dialing Right Now......

2005-03-03T10:28:00.000-05:00

Well...just got back from traveling through time and....
ok, I was actually in Vermont and I didn't JUST get back. I've been back a couple of days now. It appears that not being at my desk at work means not being in front of the computer as much.....and therefore....Lefty spits own fewer pearls of wisdom.
I'm sure next week I can get back to a more "regular" schedule....at least I think so.:)
The supposedly actual ad above is riotous!!! Cheeky sent me a bunch of them this morning. I get the feeling I may have seen this one before around the blogs sooooo, my apologies if any of you ran this recently. JB...was it you? It seems like something I may have seen on your site....

I'm going to Austria in a week.
St. Anton....The Alps...area of Tyrol....supposedly some of the best skiing in the world.
This is PERFECT for me because I had frankly tired of mastering all of the American mountains I have skied.
You know the ones....like Pennsylvania's Spring Mountain......elevation around 53 feet and ....um...

OK...so maybe I've only skied Spring Mountain but I was SO good at it that I haven't been back in about 15 years or so.
It just didn't challenege me.

So why am I going?
Well...my father in law, who is 76 years old...spends about 6 months a year as a ski instructor in the Alps. He does a lot of the standard instructing and also engages in a bit of the "helicopter your ass in and off-piste ski down the mountain" type stuff.
His usual comrades in this?? 20 and 30 somethings...if they can keep up with him.
He has been itching to get my now 2 yr. old daughter on ski's, which apparently is the age they start you in Europe, so...he bought us all a trip for her birthday to Austria to get her into class.
I'm sure she'll be fine and as for me....
I may just take up snowboarding...or possibly the LUGE.
I've always wanted to Luge.

Last Damn Day.

2005-02-25T11:27:00.000-05:00

" How many times have you said to yourself...Pack up and go, I've been here too long...
I bet if you asked them my hero's would say...
Hey, we're already gone......"
David Lee Roth

Yup...today's the day. Next Phase...new way.
After four years working with as the Director of Development/Pr for Habitat for Humanity (in SE pennsylvania)
I am moving on.
I stayed a year longer than I thought I originally would and I am taking a lot of good and bad experiences with me.
I would not change the time I spent here for anything though.....they were life defining times.

While I suppose I will expound more on this in the days ahead....I'll just leave a few small thought for today.

1. Volunteer or work for a nonprofit at sometime in your life. Others will live better for it...you will too.

2. There are shitty people in every economic class. All of the rich are not evil, all of the poor are not noble and if you reverse these assessments the same holds true.
The one unifying thing about people from every end of the spectrum is that they have an innate human ability to suck equally...no matter what they do and don't have.
Stand up for yourself. Don't get run over by these people. Work on your backbone....settle on your principles and hold fast to them.
When the battle ends...brush it off, let it go and move on.

3.Chase a dream. I came to habitat because I wanted to go a different way and try something else. I've never made LESS money since I was 20 and I'm 35 now. I did however start other side project businesses in order to compensate for the loss. As a result...I worked harder and smarter and am now leaving to chase those dreams and add a few dreams to the list.

4. When you wake up and decide that you no longer enjoy your job....Leave.
Do not live as a slave to money...find a way to make it by doing something you love.
It's never too late to change directions....i plan to move this way and that all my life.

5. Look Forward....
I'm so excited about the life ahead...both individually and with my family.
If you aren't...find a way to get excited...you simply have to. find a dream and go after it.

Today I turn in my keys...tomorrow night I scout Southern Vermont for a future home and investments. Tuesday I return and jump almost full time into my Real Estate Business with my brother....AND in two weeks I close on a new project that I haven't even talked about here.
Hopefully the one that allows my family to live in Vermont....keep a place in Philly and begin working on the next dream.

" Some folks say easy come and easy go....and some folks say, One life ain't enough for me, girl hang on tight and don't let go............" DLRoth

....." She's no Condi but........mmmm mmmm she makes me feel tingly...

2005-02-24T14:39:00.000-05:00

I deference to Ala & JB who have done a few of these....I just loved this pic.
Brilliant Captions anyone??

Broken

2005-02-23T01:11:00.000-05:00

Decided to post another poem turned song.
Could be that I don't feel too political tonight...could be that I have music on my mind more than anything else presently.
In any event...It's my damn Blog so I guess I can humor myself with anything I want.
Anyway...I worked on this song when I was around 25 years old and in the definite low point of my life.
I was one of those kids that just rolled with the punches and look back at my youth as having been a truly charmed time.
I often wondered when I hit twenty or so, just why it was that I'd never been left truly reeling.
This isn't to say that I hadn't had my down moments...it's just that I seemed in the end to be capable of smiling my way through anything and being a firm believer that waves roll out and roll in...just hang in there and nothing bad would last.
Anyway...life does not suffer fools gladly and my turn was coming.
I'm glad that my youth and my teenage years were such an experience, such a gift and such a good time.
My mid twenties were not and I got smacked in the mouth with about 25 years of karma.
Needless to say, I was trapped in a downward spiral on all fronts, not the least of which was a relationship gone to hell and horribly difficult to extricate myself from.
THIS...is where these words come from.
A lot of self questioning...some self pity perhaps but mostly, just some searching to get my mojo back and to get on living and believing that life truly was the great adventure that it had always been and that I expected it to be.
I found my way out and through my struggle found things to be even better on the other side than I had known they could be.
I have been a lucky man.
This song however....was not from a "lucky" time.
Perhaps...some of you will relate.
If not, have some fun picking at it too...I've got a good sense of humor.:)

BROKEN

Disturbed,
disappointed in me and everything's black.
dreams to me have no importance,
I'm not important, seems my nightmare is me.
it's fingers are wrapped around me....pulling me down..

I rule,
castles of sand...collapsing,
under the weight of a king
whose vision is endlessly bounding but my feet have been grounded
and shackled to this throne
and i could...abdicate...abdicate,
just leave all these things that I've grown to hate
if you,
offer me that ONE thing,
I'll give you my empire..my empire of nothing.

I'm broken...I sift through the pieces for something that matters
something unshattered.
I'm Broken.
to me, there's nothing that matters...

You said my eyes were beautiful,
something exceptional...
breathed inside me.
said you could feel my power and my rage,
left you breathless and dazed...
now it's gone..it's gone.

Can you free the demon inside me?
Can you teach me to bleed?

and I'm Broken,
sift through the pieces, for something that matters,
something unshattered,
Broken
is when there's nothing that matters.

Offer me that ONE thing....
I'll give you my empire, my empire of nothing....

Hunter, 1990 and the Colors

2005-02-22T12:46:00.000-05:00

Like a lot of the thirty something bloggers around here...I too have a musical past.
Was I any good? Eh...maybe, depends on who you ask.
My own personal opinion was that I brought a lot of energy and passion to our music, a decent sense of melody, and lyrics that I was the most proud of.
All of this sometimes helped to compensate for a pretty average singing voice.
Soon...once I figure out how to load one of those players that a few of you have out there...I'll share a few songs and have fun listening to the comments, the criticism and the laughs.
In the meantime....
I had an old song of mine..(..that came from an even older poem that i'd played around with for years....) pop into my head this week after I heard that Hunter S. Thompson is no longer with us.
I'm never one for elevating a person after they commit suicide but Hunter breaks that mold. He elevated while alive.
Anyway...ramblings from a 20 yr. old....dedicated to Hunter....
not because it's great but simply because
it's how i felt then.

COLORS

I heard a voice crying out
'bout the colors,
how they cry...
and twist away,
about why you can't hold on..
and why'd you want to anyway?

They say take my hands and allow me to breathe.
let your heart spill out
what you want me to be...
What do you want me to be?

and I look to the sky for the reasons why....
But I can't see nothing.
Nothing but the Clouds.

I heard a man talking about forever...
he was screaming 'bout, eternity
and I couldn't help but think,
What's the time?
as he just screamed......

so I scream..
I scream, Less is much more of what I'm looking for,
Less reasons to fight,
Less personal war
and I look to the sky for the reasons why,
but I can't see nothin.
Nothing but the clouds.

I heard a voice crying out about the colors....
about how they cry and twist away.....

C'Mon...it's just plain funny!

2005-02-21T14:57:00.000-05:00

I'm not really even in an overly political mood today but this picture is too good!

The Cheney/Penguin evil doer is a damn riot.

I gotta go look at it again!!!

Hehehehe

And the shine comes off the apple...

2005-02-21T12:44:00.000-05:00

And so the Bush Tapes are leaked to the public.
Just another little chink in the Teflon...another little piece of the unmaking of the man the Rove built.

Today's nugget. Today's quote, you ask?

Why...here it is:

From the Bush Tapes

"I wouldn't answer the marijuana questions," he said, according to the Times. "You know why? Because I don't want some little kid doing what I tried."

At another point, Wead says that Mr. Bush had publicly denied using cocaine. "I haven't denied anything," Mr. Bush replied.

I haven't denied anything. Priceless.

The Original "Thank God They AREN'T Nude" of the Day

2005-02-17T09:47:00.001-05:00

Unfortunately this story probably isn't true across the boards. I mean, sure, these women aren't the usual Republican dowdies.....in appearance anyway but do not fear, they are every bit as vapid as you've come to expect.
Never listened or read them??

Here's a way to get caught up without wasting precious time.
Listen to Hannity.
Now....close your eyes and picture these women nodding their heads up and down and saying "yes Sean, preach it Sean, Amen brother Sean.....ditto Rush (had to give Rush his evil props)"

There you have it. Now you can get on with your day.
To be fair though....like I said....these women are better looking the than the stereotypical republican we've become used to..BUT...even that IS funny.
I mean, come on, the main thing about them is that they are presentable...not very smart, certainly not hot and not capable of being the sex symbols they think they are.

Ahhhh....it's all so funny.
It's like a guy from the trailer park hitting the lottery, getting rich and finally having power. Except that he realizes that the people that thought he was trailer trash....still do. He's got some money and some power but commands no respect and has no inner confidence.

Sometimes...even when you win, you lose.

In the meantime....here's a look at the TRUE republican feminine form that we've come to know and love.

Sex and the Sorry City

2005-02-16T09:56:00.000-05:00

Valentines Day has come and gone....and I hope it was good for you.
My concern, however, is also that is was good for you.
Confused?

I can fix that.

Our hero, LeftyJones, noticed a troubling trend in the conversations both on the blogs and in the real world last week.
It seems a lot of people were plotting and planning for Valentine's Day in the hopes of getting A. Good Sex and B. Some type of sexual activity that might go beyond missionary style.
Of course, sex is a joked about topic and there are plenty who will go on and on at great length and humor about what they do or don't get.
Let's ignore those people for a moment and talk about the rest of the great unwashed masses.
( hmmmm...perhaps the "unwashed" part is what's hurting the sex life?)

Here's what got to me.
I'm going to exclude single people from this conversation because frankly....you have different options. Sexually incompatible? Move on, find someone else....get a new apartment. It's simply a much more easily fixable problem than spending your life with someone and not being fulfilled.
So...in short...get a new apartment, a new haircut and a new lover.
This is for the married and longtime faithful out there.

Find out what your partner likes and DO it.
Both of you.
I don't really care what it is....YOU talk about it and do it.
Wear it, pinch it, tickle it,
slather yourself in it, dive straight for it, ask for it
rub it, scratch it, massage it, whisper it, smack it
scream for it, ask for it, laugh at the absurdity of it
swear for it, sweat for it, roll over for it
fall to your knees for it,
kiss it, lick it, blow on it, suck it, squeeze it
softly caress it, collapse after it.....
Do it. Now.

Guys...spend the extra time. talk to her about it and do what she likes too.
Hopefully, if you're lucky you'll find that one of your greatest sexual excitements will be to see how worked up you can get her! Do you know what she likes? Have you ever asked? I've had a lot of friends complain about their sex lives and how boring their partner is....of course, I've also heard these friends at different times in their lives brag about their exploits...turns out..their partners aren't the only ones who are boring or self centered. Learn about what makes her work and have fun doing it.

Ladies. Yes you are all queens...every last one of you.
No, that doesn't mean that after marrying a man you get to pull the ...." I'm not doing that anymore...I'm married crap"
There were a lot of implied "If i'm good or if YOU'RE good...you'll get your once a decade blowjob this week....now be happy about it!"

Are you fucking kidding me??
What a joke.
Men, Ladies....listen close.
You are partners. You look out for each other. You hopefully fulfill each other and love each other.
And yes, god dammit, you go down on each other.....like it or not.
And if you don't like it and they do.....shut up, smile and then do it.

It's not about you. It's about them. And it's about how you want them to feel good and be satisfied.
You are not heroic for giving a once a year "gift"
You are a selfish asshole who thinks the world revolves around what you want.
You are even worse because you give this occasional..."gift" and then your poor partner actually starts to walk around feeling lucky that you threw them a few scraps.
Man that's a shitty way to treat your partner.

Great relationships work because great partners care about what each other think, what makes them happy and they try to be there for each other whatever the circumstances.
Society often seems to define relationships by how a couple acts when the chips are down. While I get that thinking, I often think that it's the insignificant moments that define a relationship even more.
Are you quick to laugh together? Do you like each others company? When you picture having a great night...is your significant other part of it?
Do you talk about things? Do you laugh even more?
Do they make you want and try to be a better person....not because they demand it but because they inspire it?
And yes....in the more private moments of their life...will you be a spectacularly giving lover.....and love both the giving and receiving?
It's not difficult stuff really. Know the person you love and anticipate what they need.

But at the very least people....treat your partner a little better than throwing them an occasional bone (pun intended).
Remember...you can withhold what your partner craves....love, affection, humor, respect and yes...sex.
That won't make them want it any less.

You have the ability to do for them....what they love.
And if you don't love it? That's okay, you probably don't like paying taxes either but you do it. So smile and give the people what they want.

And if love of partner isn't your motivating force....know that you are not the only one capable of beng selfish

Or at least go to sleep at night being honest enough with yourself to know...

That there is always someone else who will.

You can never go too far.....

2005-02-15T09:24:00.000-05:00

--"Not that I condone fascism, or any -ism for that matter. -Ism's in my opinion are not good. A person should not believe in an -ism, he should believe in himself. I quote John Lennon, "I don't believe in The Beatles, I just believe in me." Good point there. After all, he was the walrus. I could be the walrus and I'd still have to bum rides off of people....." Ferris Bueller's Day Off

35 years old.
35 motherfucking years old.
Would somebody please tell me how that happened?

I love numbers (hate school taught math and algebra)...love figuring out probabilities...statistics...the "stuff" of life.
Well, I have to admit that this birthday I found that I don't love everything the numbers had to say.

Some facts about this year:

-After turning 35 I am exactly half my fathers age.
-I graduated high school HALF my LIFE ago
-I have been driving longer than I have not been driving
-Kids born in 1984 can legally drink this year....(clear sign of the apocalypse)
-I am finally old enough to legally be PRESIDENT....hehe...look out!

but here is the one the punches you in the gut...the eye opener.
----I am as close to 50 as I am to 20------

Gulp.
20 was like yesterday.

And I found myself thinking in true 80's fashion...that Ferris Bueller was right...
A. you can never go TOO far and
B. You gotta stop sometimes and take a look around...or you could miss it.

So...I am 35 years old. I am married to the most wonderful woman in the world. I have a daughter that just kills me with amazement. Another child expected to arrive this summer. My own businesses. An insane cat. The world's most lovable and yet slightly retarded dog.
I love my home, have great friends. Still dream as much as ever. I think the things ahead are way better than what is behind me....and trust me on this one...most of what's behind me was a damn good time.
I officially leave my "day' job next week to pursue my businesses full time and in the near future..I will be traveling to Vermont to scope out the next phase of where my family will be settling down for a little while.

Now, mind you, I'm a pretty damn happy guy most of the time. I'm probably apt to smile and be optimistic even when life is dragging me down. But as I stopped to look at it all the obvious became even more, well, obvious.........I have a great life and I feel truly blessed.

And I can't wait to see what's next.
So........F you 35!
High school may be half my life ago.....but I'm barely a third of the way to 100 and i've got a lot of living to do.

But do tell....how does the calendar affect you?

I CAN'T stand it, I Know you PLANNED it.....

2005-02-11T10:45:00.000-05:00

Listen all y'all, it's a sabotage....

Ok...so maybe the Beastie Boys are more worried about chicken these days than being great musicians but they certainly hit the nail on the head with this one.....
provided you overlook the song was written years ago and had nothing to do with today's politics.

See folks...it comes down to this.
When are weapons of mass destruction worth going to war for?

Answer: When no one stands up to stop you

You can digest all the spoon fed crap out of Washington on the differences between N. Korea and Iraq that you want.
You can dress it up.
Call it pretty names.
try and make yourself feel good about it.

Fact is....the differences are less about the danger and more about political will.

Since George the Lesser will not stand up to Korea, it leaves us to postulate why. Especially since he will not address his schizophrenic way of dealing with these situations.
With that in mind, it is reasonable to put forth some theories as to what Georgie is thinking and.....

"Why we will not attack Korea over violations regarding WMD's":

1. He realizes that this would be a much more difficult war for the troops.
2. China would not stand by and watch us declare war on their back porch.....so, while Bush talked tough to France and mocked appeasers....he puts on the appeaser hat when it comes to China.
3. He doesn't believe his own crap about agreements and inspections not working, about dialogue being a waste of time and has come to the conclusion that pre-emptive war doesn't work.
4. George is only concerned with freeing Iraqi people.....he secretly hates Korean people.
5. Operation Korean Freedom doesn't sound as good.
6. He would very much like to declare war but we can't afford it as he has bankrupted the country over the last 5 years.

At the very least mr. president....you owe an explanation to us.....the American citizenry...as to why you whipped up war fever, sent soldiers to fight and die, financed all of this with our tax dollars and did it all...in the end because you declared Hussein a tyrant, cried how much you care about the iraqi people and scared people shitless with possible WMD sightings.

Now...in Korea...they ADMIT they have nuclear weapons, they all along said they were making them, they are lead by possibly the worst of all dictators and you certainly have millions of people who would like to live free even if you don't seem to talk about them much.

Where are their purple fingers?
Where is our safety and peace of mind?
Can American citizens in Hawaii sleep safely tonight with Kim Jong Il dancing around the palace...hand on button?
Can the people of California?

Be OUTRAGED!
Be ANGRY about this!
Do NOT be manipulated into thinking it doesn't matter.

War was declared....or at least launched...in our name.
Hussein is captured, untold thousands of Iraqi's are dead or maimed, over 1400 U.S. soldiers are dead and to this point it was all in the name of unfound WMD's, a brutal dictator and Iraqi Freedom.

meanwhile....nuclear bombs were being made, a brutal dictator laughs in our face and the Korean people live under one of the worst human rights violators in the world.

I've never been one....never...to give any serious credence to the "oil" theories about the war in Iraq or anything like that. But you can see how discrepancies like these might make a man wonder.

Ok...so...Mr. Southern swagger straight shooter...we'd like an answer....What gives?
And...if you wonder how I
know this is a serious flaw in both policy and the President?

Look at the right wing blogs....strangely silent...nothing to say. Frauds. Fakes. Cowards.
Here's a giant purple finger in your face!

"......I'm a setting straight, this Watergate...What Could It Be, It's A Mirage
You're Scheming On A Thing - That's Sabotage.."

Good thing we kicked Sadaam's ass first!!!!

2005-02-10T09:13:00.000-05:00

While our Republican guard was busy attacking Iraq's republican guard no one was on guard with N. Korea.

I mean sure...we've been keeping an eye on them and during that time they decided to build a bomb.
A nuclear bomb.

And now...after 2 years of talking to them about it we've decided on our current response to this issue.

We're going to talk to them about it.

Hmmmm. Makes very little sense when you think about it. Kick the countries ass that had no weapons and sit back and do nothing to the country that is TELLING you that they are building nukes.
Is Georgie only interested in fighting if it's considered to be easy?

Now I remember.....you're a WAR president. With that in mind...could you kindly fix this little fuck up?

I'd appreciate it.

The Other "W" Club

2005-02-09T10:23:00.000-05:00

I was nine years old.
I was way too tall for my age, skinny as a beanpole and was blessed with a nose that was way too big for the rest of my childish face.
I was the king of hand-me-down clothes and could proudly boast that whatever the latest "must have" game that was out at the time...wasn't something that I owned.

But I could hit a baseball like it was something I was born to do.
And for the first time in my life....I had my own bike, a NEW bike and I was off to my first baseball practice of the spring.

These days the games are played differently.
Every kid hits, they don't keep score and its all about inclusion.
Nice idea really but it doesn't teach you a thing about how life really works or about working hard to be the best.
As luck would have it...I was naturally good and the working hard part wasn't hard at all. I stopped when the sun quit on me.

As an eight year old I went from being a bench warmer to all-star catcher in a few short months. It seems funny now that there would be an all star anything at only 8 but I was....and I was seriously proud of it. As a result, the following spring I was drafted up to the "minor leagues" a year early and was picked by a new team.

The first day of practice was always an awkward dance for me because none of the kids really knew me. They all went to school together at either the local public or Catholic school and I was the only one whose parents had decided to send their kids off to the "Christian school" in an effort to keep them away from drug pushers.

I was 9. Exactly what drug pushers my parents thought would be lurking in the local suburban elementary school I'll never know. But they weren't to be budged and I was destined to be the new kid every spring.

I rode my new bike. Fast.
It was a red three speed, chopper style bike with a banana seat that had flames on it.
Very cool. And now I, being one with my bike, inherited some of that cool to go with my own assumed coolness.
I showed up at practice and received my uniform and hat before breaking down into drills and found that the coach had me planned as the starting catcher.
This is of course what I wanted and had secretly expected...and I jumped in.

Some of the kids knew of me from the year before or had at least heard rumors about the weird school I went to. I assumed the newness would wear off in a week or two and we'd become friends...just like last year and just like anywhere I went.

For a kid wrapped in a lot of brown terry cloth and toughskin style jeans, I had a lot of confidence. To this day...I have no idea why.

The team was called the "W" Club.
I found out that day that the "W" stood for Women and that our team was sponsored by the local women's club.
Hmmmm.
Seems to me now that a rather sick sense of humor pervaded that Women's Club as they decided that their contribution to the local community each year would be to label one of the all boys little league teams with a GIANT red "W" and send us out to play.
Community gardens...nah, public beautification....nah....I know, let's pick out a group of boys and call their team the "Women's Club" hahahahahha....another shot of bourbon for me please.............

Years later, another league team was adopted by a local shop called the "Flower Cart".
Man did I feel bad for them...forced to play ball in a Flower Cart Cap. I'm pretty sure the store must have been owned by one of those Women's Club people...the sick humor was just too similar.

So practice ended and I walked over to where I had locked my bike.
My very cool bike.
Up ahead I saw three kids standing near where my bike was parked.
Awestruck with admiration I assumed....and kept walking over.
All three of these kids were my new teammates and two of them had quite a reputation.
A reputation as being tough. Bully types.
As they turned to me I realized from their sneering faces that this was not the "Lefty's mutual bike admiration society" but rather something less fun.

I said "hi" and walked through them to my bike and began fiddling around with my new combination lock. I was nervous and fumbling and the lock was not agreeing with me.

With a loud "bang" I heard one of the kids baseball gloves hit my spokes and bounce off. I flinched and looked up.

The smallest yet toughest of the three...a kid with the last name Flanagan (it even sounds tough) walked up and asked me if I was going to just take it, having my bike hit, and do nothing about it.

I just looked at him. Expressionless.

He laughed.

And proceeded in a way that only boys can, to summon whatever mucus was in his throat and spit it with force onto the crackling flame design in the center of my bike seat.
The boys howled.
My face was now not so expressionless.
With a mountain of fear in my stomach I took a step towards Flanagan and locked my eyes on his in the toughest way I could.
The laughter stopped suddenly as everyone sensed a conflict.
Flanagan asked me, "What are you going to do about it"
I said nothing and continued to stare.
He leaned towards me and called me chicken.
I continued to stare.
He suggested that if I didn't want my face broken I would stop staring at him.

I did the only thing I could think to do.
I stared even harder. Clenched my fists. And began to summon my own wad of mucus.

I turned to the bike and spit on the seat just as he did and then turned back to him with a probably very disconcerting smile and stare.
He backed up.
I had him.
He started calling me sick and saying to his friends that there was something wrong with me. he wasn't laughing though.
None of them were.
I started to walk after him and they turned and ran to their bikes.
I was, as I mentioned, unusually tall for my age....and maybe looked to be way more of a threat than I in any way was.

I watched them run away as the sun was going down and then turned back to my bike.
With my glove, I wiped off the seat the best i could and then finished wrestling with my lock.
I started for home on my flame encrusted bike, soggy glove on the handle and pedaled as hard as I could.
I'm pretty sure that the bike barely touched the road with the incredible speed I had reached.
I'm VERY sure that my butt didn't touch that seat for one second of the ride.

Today's Special....

2005-02-08T11:02:00.000-05:00

In honor of today's debate ( 12:00 high noon -

The Debate

) between Left Wing Icon, Jericho Brown and Right Wing Fascist Freetard, I thought I'd feature one of my favorite pics of Free.

This picture captures perfectly the expresion that will be taking up residency on Free's face throughout the debate and it's the one I thought would help you all the most in picturing his true befuddlement.

It would be entertaining.....if there was actually any thought that Free might have a prayer. As it stands now.....

It's all over but the shouting....

God hates us.

2005-02-06T23:12:00.000-05:00

Dear God....Make me a bird, so I can fly...far,far away......

2005-02-06T17:42:00.000-05:00

So...What's Your Sign?

2005-02-04T01:08:00.000-05:00

As you may already have figured out by now if you are in tune with the stars...
Our hero, Leftyjones is an Aquarius.

What exactly does this mean???
Well, that's a question I have wondered about for a long time.
You see, I have never taken all too seriously the notion that the sign you are born under has anything real to do with who you are.
Maybe this is because of a core feeling that I have always had that all of us....all of us...are the strongest force in determining who and what we are by the choices that we make and not by predetermined factors.

Yet, I am forced to admit that while I look around at the people I know, there are simply too many strong personality traits that correspond with the signs that people are born under. As a result...experience tells e that I am at least forced to consider that there may really be something to all of this.

The very signs of the Zodiac and the traits that they describe have always intrigued me largely because of the fact that they don't always seem equal or fair. Some signs simply seem to be "stronger" than others or enable those born under them to have clear advantages over the others. Some I must admit....I am VERY glad that I am not as I don't find much about them that I like. Still...I'm not sure what it all means because I have certainly known some people who in no obvious way seem to be as swayed by their sign as others.
I can say this...many of the friendships and relationships that I have had have seemed to be with people from the signs I like best or that would by definition seem to make sense.
I have been connected with an unusually high number of fellow Aquarius's in my life and have found that as a rule I am drawn to them and excited, inspired and intrigued by the way we interact. Not surprisingly, I find the sign to be truly one of the most fascinating and the people that fall under it as thoughtful, expressive, artistic and inspiring people. You can read below some of the tendencies of the sign....these people are something else!
There are two other signs that I have had great connection with...both good and bad and to me...they seem to also be a bit superior to some of the others.
The first of these is Libra...
The thoughtfulness and fairness of these people has always drawn me. While not nearly as bombastic or idealistic as Aquarians...they have an evenness and an intrinsic justice about them that works so well with Aquarian thought processes. While I am sure that there are exceptions...if you meet a person who seems to be truly good, innately strong and fair...they seem to Librans more often than not.
The other sign I have a strong connection with is Leo. This makes total sense because while the signs are very different....they both think they are the greatest of all.
AND....when paired together in any way, these relationships are never boring. They can be absolutely, powerfully strong or equally as explosive and destructive.
Sometimes both.
I have known more Leo's than any other sign and seem to have a never ending number of them in my life. They can be difficult but I am fond of them.
Mostly I just think of them as frustrated Aquarians....:)

My least favorite...Scorpio. I have yet to meet a good one. Hopefully one of you out there is a Scorpio that i like...I'd really love to find one to prove my predisposition wrong.

So...I'm left to wonder what does it all mean to others. Do you believe in it all, in some of it, in none of it?
What have your experiences with Aquarians been like? And what do you like most about your sign?
Don't worry about trying to measure up with Aquarians....it's really not possible! :)
Just do the best you can.

Aquarius- a brief snippet:

Aquarians basically possess strong and attractive personalities. They fall into two principle types: one shy, sensitive, gentle and patient; the other exuberant, lively and exhibitionist, sometimes hiding the considerable depths of their character under a cloak of frivolity. Both types are strong willed and forceful in their different ways and have strong convictions, though as they seek truth above all things, they are usually honest enough to change their opinions, however firmly held, if evidence comes to light which persuades them that they have been mistaken. They have a breadth of vision that brings diverse factors into a whole, and can see both sides of an argument without shilly-shallying as to which side to take. Consequently they are unprejudiced and tolerant of other points of view. This is because they can see the validity of the argument, even if they do not accept it themselves. They obey the Quaker exhortation to "Be open to truth, from whatever source it comes," and are prepared to learn from everyone.....

More Info:

Aquarian Facts

Social Insecurity

2005-02-03T14:01:00.000-05:00

It's broken.

I accept that and I guess I always have.
I certainly haven't spent my life expecting it to be there when I get around to retirement age. Not with what all the doomsayers have been saying for the last few years.

So...how to fix it becomes the problem.

Here are a few basic ideas that could drastically change the Social Security problem and they don't involve confusing investment accounts...just common sense.

1. Raise the age...and be bold about it.
People are living far longer than before and many are continuing to work anyway...for love or necessity.
My plan: Anyone 50 or older today sees no change to the plan.
If you are 45-49- retirement age goes to 68
40-44- retirement age goes to 69
35-39 retirement age goes to 70
30-34 retirement age goes to 71
29 and under retirement age goes to 72

It's simply time folks. This leaves enough time to plan and prepare. The system and it's lack of future workers demands it.

2. Eliminate Social Security benefits for people who are still making over $75,000 after retiring. Many of our better off citizens are still receiving good incomes from pension plans and retirement accounts/dividends/stocks.
This is a good thing.
However...social security benefits are not the difference between them living well or not making it. I understand that everyone pays in..but I believe that it would be fair to find a way to make this work AND help fix the problem. Maybe there would be a way to offer citizens still making a good income in retirement a way to get a large standard deduction from their taxes in lieu of them forfeiting social security income. I am not privy to all of the numbers that would make this work but I believe the idea uses exploring. Give people incentive to not collect.

3. Begin delivering every citizen an estimated pricing index of what things will cost when they retire AND an estimate of what they will receive.
Hammer home that Social Security will help you when you retire BUT that you will not be able to live off of it. People need their expectations to become realistic.
SS will help...it will not provide retirement. Begin making plans.

4. Increase or adjust regularly the amount people can invest tax free into their IRA accounts. This incentive will help prod the middle class to save more.

I'm still working on a few more but I think this is a good starting point....any ideas/arguments/thoughts?

Total Eclipse of the Heart

2005-02-03T10:04:00.000-05:00

" Turn around Briiiiiiigghhhttttt Eyessssssss"

Yes folks, our hero Leftyjones was scanning down the dial of his Sirius satellite radio on his way to work this morning...( given to him for Christmas by the Best Wife EVER!) and pressed the WRONG button.

The price was steep.

"Turnaround, every now and then I get a
little bit lonely and you're never coming around"

Oops sorry....I didn't mean to get the tune stuck in your head.

Anyway.Now that I'm afflicted with Bonnie Tyler bouncing around my head all morning, I did the only responsible thing I could do.

I decided to drag you all down with me.

" I really need you tonight
Forever's gonna start tonight
Forever's gonna start tonight

Once upon a time I was falling in love
But now I'm only falling apart......

Come on....you know the words. Finish it up for yourself and suffer with me.

Bwa-ha-hahahahahahaha

Real post coming later after Bonnie is exorcised.

Synonyms of a Liberal

2005-02-02T09:32:00.000-05:00

Again...not my words but those of the Wordnet dictionary listing of synonyms.
You choose your party, your political leanings AND the terms that define you.

Look at the terms...at the synonyms as well of conservative and liberal and decide how you want to be defined.

Synonyms: broad, large minded, tolerant, free, bounteous, bountiful, freehanded, generous, handsome, munificent, openhanded

It's a TKO my friends...a TKO.

http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=liberal

Synonyms of a Conservative

2005-01-31T09:55:00.000-05:00

From the online Wordnet Dictionary, the complete list of synonyms of conservative:

blimpish, bourgeois, button-down, buttoned-down, buttoned-up, cautious, conservativist, conventional, fusty, hidebound, materialistic, middle-class, moderate, nonprogressive, standpat(a), traditionalist, ultraconservative, unprogressive.

Pretty damn accurate with the only disputable wording being "moderate and middle class".
This is NOT to say however that there aren't many middle class conservatives....those "conservatives" are very against the government just giving away their hard earned money to just anyone when they could be giving it away to almost rich people exclusively!

When Is A Tax Not A Tax???

2005-01-28T13:32:00.000-05:00

Why...when Dubya calls it a "FEE"...that's when.
Can't balance his friggin budget and throws out the first of the many hidden taxes we're about to see.
Call it what it is Georgie....it's a tax. Just like the gasoline taxes you hammered Kerry.

AOL NEWS: Bush Calls for Bush Calls for Higher Security Fee on Airline Tickets

WASHINGTON (Jan. 28) - A fee charged to airline travelers to help pay for airport security would more than double under President Bush's spending proposal for the Homeland Security Department.

Bush's plan calls for boosting the security fee from $2.50 to $5.50 for a one-way airline ticket and from a maximum of $5 to $8 for multiple legs. The hikes are expected to generate $1.5 billion.

Debby McElroy, president of the Regional Airline Association, criticized the proposal as taxing an industry that already carries one of the highest tax burdens........" -end of story-

You tax and spend faux conservative.

Picture: Courtesy of Freetards Family album: The Early years

FREETARD: CAUGHT IN ACTION!!!

2005-01-27T19:41:00.000-05:00

Our spies spotted Free0352 on his beat and delivered this photo to us.....
We're assuming that he's the angry, little short cop with the 70's moustache...it kind've fits the visual. BUT....we are not outruling the fact that he may ACTUALLY be the Jester and our spies spotted him outside his parttime clown job.

More on this as it develops!

Puppet Speaks Mind!!!

2005-01-26T16:43:00.000-05:00

Blair: U.S. Needs to Integrate With World

By ROBERT WIELAARD
Associated Press Writer

January 26, 2005, 1:42 PM EST

DAVOS, Switzerland -- British Prime Minister Tony Blair called on the United States Wednesday to take the world's needs into account when it seeks global support for its actions, and cited climate change as an issue all nations must address together.

"If America wants the rest of the world to be part of the agenda it has set, it must be part of their agenda, too," Blair told the World Economic Forum meeting in Davos.....

Developing Story

Analyze....

2005-01-25T15:13:00.000-05:00

The small victories....
The cankers and medallions

They keep me thinking
That someday
I might beat you
But I'll just keep my mouth shut

It shouldn't bother me
But it does

If I speak at one constant volume, at one constant pitch, right into your ear...
You STILL won't hear, you still won't hear.

you still won't hear.

Post Inaugural Thoughts

2005-01-24T13:56:00.000-05:00

The Speech: what a boring load of crap. The speechwriter should be fired. You couldn't pass a high school speech class delivering such uninspired, trite drivel.

The Music: Dear god....it made my ears bleed.

The future prospects: as dim as our leader. Here's hoping the next 4 years travel at light speed.

The Best News: Only two more years until firm lame duck status has been achieved and "W" can be quietly put back in the closet or out to pasture...whichever he prefers.

You Gotta Fight....For Your Right...To Party!!!! (for roughly 40 million dollars)

2005-01-14T10:57:00.000-05:00

The Year was 1991.
Our hero, LeftyJones, was still chasing dreams of rock Stardom and was actually playing in a band that wasn't bad and was attracting some interest from people other than fat chicks and losers who wanted desperately to be your roadies (and get into your parties).
Now, I had been the proud owner of my own apartment since the day I turned 18 in 1988 and...being the first guy with their own apartment...well, you can imagine what my place was like.
Actually....no you can't.
You truly had to have been there. It was a different time with an awful lot of excess, very little inhibition and hedonism in the air. Many of you probaby think you have been to places like these.
I doubt you have....it was something a bit special and one day you'll hear a lot more about it.
But that's not the point of this post.
Anyway...the band was having some success and we had an opportunity to all move into the same house in a semi-rural area in the Philly burbs.
This was good because we could collectively pay very little for rent, set up a permanent studio and not have far to travel (the basement) for band practice.

Our move in date was Dec.31st, 1990.
We decided instead to move in officially on the 2nd of jan....1991.
Of course, we did move a few things in on the 31st....namely, enough plastic to cover the hardwood floors in this 3 story house......roughly 8 kegs, a bars worth of liquor, our band equipment and our beds.
We figured we'd need someplace to crash....whenit was all said and done.

Our simple plan:
Throw a huge party, charge 5 bucks a head and if we could pack as many people as we hoped to into this house....maybe live rent free for a month or two.

What followed was the most insane night of my life and a party that became legendary to the hundreds...yes hundreds...that attended.

The sordid details should be shared with the world...and will at some point...but again, it's not really the point at this moment.

No...the point is....the greatest party ever attended by many was thrown for the equivalent of a few hundred bucks and this weekend, 9...count them! 9...parties that are guaranteed to bore your frigging face off will be thrown in Washington to the tune of about 40 million dollars.

I shudder to think what kind of party I could throw for even one million.....

Now, a lot of people are talking about these costs in recent days and I suppose it makes some sense. Certainly some pissed off democrats are looking for reasons to trash Dubya and Co. and with these exorbitant costs for middle aged "booty shaking" its kind of an easy target. The natural disasters, the suffering of millions and the fact that we have an army at war again...make it an easy target.
The fact that Wilson and Roosevelt in WWI and WWII left their inaugurations to be very stripped down simplified affairs in light of soldiers sacrifices apparently did not hold up as an example to Dubya and Co. and here.....is where the problem lies.

Let's be honest...I doubt Dubya is looking forward to these parties one damn bit. Trust me...if this man lived the way its rumored then exactly how well do you think these parties will stack up to the ones spent snorting coke off the luscious breasts of the happy time hookers?
Wandering to 9 different parties to shake hands and grin that goofy smile....sounds like a hoot! And I doubt that Laura...in all her finery...is going to show him some new pretzel twist move he's never seen before .....
No...George knows a party and these ain't it.

( A Classic Photo Revisited)

And here my friends is what SUCKS about this weekend.

These parties are designed for one reason only.
The holy trinity of money, access and power.
The fact is...any president from either party should certainly have taken a low profile approach this year in light of international events, drastic budget shortfalls and especially in deference to the traditions of scaling back when our soldiers are at war.
But they can't. Neither party could or would. The democrats would have been just as bad.
Because my friends....this is about money. It's about payback and face time. It's about schmoozing and privilege. It's about ensuring that the checks keep coming. It's about deals and the grease that makes Washington move. It's about who really owns America and how the rest of us just live here.
It's about who will be writing the rules.
It's about who is changing the playing field.
And it cannot be stopped even when its inappropriate......even if it were to be more grotesquely despicable....it hungers for more.
Our democracy is for sale and the bidding never ceases.

You wanna throw a good party or even 9 of them?
The trick is never in how much you spend...it's in what you have planned.
40 million is a ridiculous price tag but you can't really think about it in the terms of party expenses.
Think of it as a downpayment...or at least an installment.

The lobbyists will keep making their payments and over time "our" interest goes down, their principle goes up and we find ourselves arguing like shills over Republican and Democratic talking points while they ride off with contents of the bank in tow.

But hey.....it's a party week coming up. Fat and bald guys....bring your stogies and your extra chins. Ladies.....of course you're still a size 6 and no you don't look like a garish madame whore at the local brothel. Yes....those jewels do bring out your eyes.
It's time to have a party America. You're the host....but don't worry about the 40 million dollar bill.
No...the true cost will come when we see what another weekend of unregulated Washington lobbying comes home to roost.

Enjoy the glitz on TV....I'm sure if you blow your noisemaker hard enough it'll feel just like you're there!

Everybody Do the Propaganda....

2005-01-10T09:58:00.000-05:00

Another non issue story according to our Repuritan friends...
I mean..it makes a lot more sense to be arguing over inaugural details than to take a hard look at your evil little party is doing now.

In the true spirit of Lenin, the Repub's have taken decided that owning the Fox Network and pre-approving that stations content isn't enough...now they want all the other outlets too.
And they're willing to pay for them.

Did you even hear about the Armstrong Williams story this weekend? Many didn't because it's not as "sexy" as war photos or Hollywood Insider kinda talk about the inauguration.
For those that missed the "actual news" this weekend...Here's the deal.
Conservative Black columnist and pundit Armstrong Williams was found over the last two years to have...well, here it is:

"The Education Department paid commentator Armstrong Williams $241,000 to help promote President Bush's No Child Left Behind law on the air" and if you don't find this sketchy enough....he also: " did not disclose the contract when talking about the law during cable television appearances or writing about it in his newspaper column."

find this odd?? just wait, there's more!!

The Repub's also wanted a little say on FUTURE content and stipulated in their contract with Williams that: ... But the contract also required Williams to "utilize his long term working relationship" with black producers to "encourage" them to "periodically address the No Child Left Behind Act."

What an odd way to spend my money when you're so damn busy talking about cutting programs and taxes?!
Of course..the money situation does'nt stop there either. The firm that the Education department used, Ketchum, also had a few other tasks to perform for the Education Dept.
The first precious nugget we learned about was: "...The department already has paid Ketchum $700,000 to rate journalists on how positively or negatively they report on No Child Left Behind, and to produce a video release on the law that was used by some television stations as if it were real news. "
These types of video releases have been distributed by a number of Bush Departments including...."Spokesmen for other federal agencies acknowledged yesterday that they also have distributed prepackaged video news releases. Last March, the Census Bureau sent out a video release to trumpet Women's History Month. "Women are breaking the gender barrier in one field after another," contractor Karen Ryan, who produced and narrated the videos, said, citing a Census Bureau analysis. The story included comments by Sen. Susan Collins (R-Maine) and Rep. Louise M. Slaughter (D-N.Y.) and ended with the sign-off: "I'm Karen Ryan reporting."
The CDC was involved with a news style Flu story earlier this year as well.
Williams also took his role seriously as he booked Education Secretary Paige twice on one of his shows for an "interview" and that "He said he successfully urged another black television personality, Steve Harvey, to twice interview Paige."

People.....this isn't rocket science.
The Government can NOT be in the business of faking news stories or buying off pundits.
Especially when these pundits don't reveal that they are paid advocates and then go on other shows to give their so-called own opinions.
The Government can NOT be using our money this way. Simply Outrageous.

I'm disgusted by the Pravda-style tactics of "issuing" a story that is designed to fool people. The line between believing in your government or not believing in them is a thin one when you hear about stories like these.
How do we know the TRUTH about what's going on in Iraq or Afghanistan?
How do we trust government reports or studies when you see things like this?

It's bad news for all. Because the pendulum swings both ways.
Can you IMAGINE the frothing and screaming that would have occured if Sen. Clinton was found to have used health Department funds to produce a "news story" to promote a national healthcare plan? Or if Bubba was found to be paying PR firms to track and rate individual media members on how favorably they viewed and reported on his work?
We'd still be hearing it.

Our national goal or effort must at the very minimum include and demand that we stand higher than Castro and old Soviet leaders.

Oh...and also maybe a little heat from the Republicans on their own party leadership for this wouldn't be bad either. You know...just do the same usual bitching you always do over anything the democrats try to introduce only this time, you'll actually have something legitimate to gripe about.

Quotes taken from January 10, Washington Post

Lefty's Muse

2005-01-06T02:01:00.000-05:00

And you wonder why I'm such a smug son of a bitch....

The inimitable Cheeky Monkey!

Ladies and gentlemen, as promised, the beloved Cheeky Monkey!!

This is one of my favorite pictures of her....I just love the gaze!
Taken a few years ago...the only real differences you'll find is that her hair is a bit shorter and she's even hotter than she was then!

Yup.....mine all mine.

So now...feel cursed again all my Republican friends, for our hero Lefty is not only lucky enough to rule the planet as the Dark Imperial Overlord......

he gets to come home to this face every night.

Sweet son-of-a bitch!

Pussies

2005-01-05T09:54:00.000-05:00

Nice high brow title, huh?

Well....I don't have to be highbrow all the time and I don't care.

You see...I just invited a jihad on my ass while bringing all of you the much demanded and needed "Lefty's Top 18 List of People who should Die" List and I'm frankly underwhelmed by the response from the so called right.

Like anyone with a counter and the ability to look at site referrals....I know that many, possibly most of my readers are actually conservatives...and yet none of you save "the artist Ala71" and Kat have the cojones to say anything?

You sit around talking tough about faraway Muslims and I....I alone call Allah onto the magic carpet and you say nothing?

Maybe you don't agree and you're all terrorists lovin' infidels.
Or maybe you're afraid....no one ever mistook conservatives for actually being anything other than lipservice tough.
Maybe the Rove thing pissed you off. Well...he pisses me off too.

I guess I just find it all funny. I see a few of us lefties willing to go to the "sites on the right" and talk, argue, joke around and comment....but always speak our minds.
Most righties only seem to say anything when they are cheerleading one of their own...
"oh blankety-blank....you're so awesome. I agree with everything you say....kkep up the good work"

PUKE....comment,argue,fight,spit......fine.
Cowradly read and run away....makes no sense. Feel free to agree now and then....it won't make you a liberal.
Always feel free to argue so I can masterfully destroy you.
But slinking around in the shadows is boring....

I can see you are here. So say something.

The Final Five

2005-01-03T13:26:00.000-05:00

Ok....for the record this was tough. You want to make sure that you pick the five people that we simply cannot afford or stand to have around any longer and make sure you get the right ones before wishing that fate deals them an unlucky hand. There are many deserving people to be on this list but... here my friends are the final five that above all others deserve our scorn and our most fervent wish that the proverbial cartoon anvil from heaven lands on their evil little heads.

5. Mary Beth Cahill- Incompetent Fool. When you watch Dubya smirk his way through the inauguration remember to thank this woman. Granted, she had equal opportunity bunglers working with her but she was in way, way over her head and instead of admitting it.....she got uppity.
End result: Another four years of Bonzo.
How she wakes up in the morning...I'll never know.

4. Tom Delay- Absolute vermin...even by Texan standards. It's not that you're a hypocrite Tom, or that you are a blowhard or even an opportunist. It's that you are the highest form of self serving, corrupt, only looking out for you politician on the scene today. The fact that your brethren in the house want to essentially destroy the ethics rules of the House in order to save your sorry ass is pathetic but even worse, it truly damages the already very low credibility that any of the House members might have or stand to have in the future. This man is not a Republican/Democrat issue as much as he should be an American one. The people of Texas already owe us big time....they could start by deposing this man. I don't care at this point if you replace him with another right wing guy, frankly I don't expect any better of you.... but at least you could find one that wasn't such a vile, lying, corrupt, danger to America. Couldn't you? There must be at least one available down there....

3. Abu Musab al-Zarqawi- You hateful bastard. Hell would be too good for you but it would at least be a start. You were something of a two bit bastard before this recent year but thanks to your ability to spot an opportunity to exact fame and status within the ranks of your lemming disciples, children now the world over have to go to sleep at night with images of orange jumpsuits, headless bodies and people begging for their lives.
I do not believe in the mistreatment of captured enemy soldiers or combatants.....I believe in justice. And if there is any justice at all, you will never be captured alive but rather a platoon of marines with very dull knives will ensure that your head....your head alone....is retained for further questioning.

2. Osama Bin Laden- Only guy worse than Zarqawi. You should not be on this list. You should have been dead years ago and if the American eye had not been taken off of you in pursuit of easier prey. You would be nothing more than a statistic at this point. However, you remain out there as this ethereal phantom of Allah that has escaped the Americans and as a result, the miserable plankton in the sea of life...the Islamic Fundamentalist Terrorists... look to you as the hero that defied America and won. Every day you live another thousand terrorists are born to your cause. I blame your deeds on you and I blame the fact that you still breathe on a lack of will or focus in the White House. The world will improve when you are no longer in it and the "leaders" that let you live are no longer in Washington.

This brings us to number one. And no doubt.....many of you must be wondering who in the hell could be deserving of the number one spot on the " cartoon anvil from the heavens countdown" than Bin Laden or Zarqawi. The honest answer is no one.
Because they personify the very worst of humanity in a way that so few could compete with. Would I dare put Rummy or Cheney or Powell....or even Dubya at the top of this list? Call them worse than these guys?
Well of course I would dare to....if it were true. But as bad as some of these "folks" are.....they aren't composed of the same primal evil that a Zarqawi is.
As much as I dislike them...they just aren't.
So who would make this number one spot?
Well...frankly it's a tie. The top spot is filled with two names. Two characters that if they had simply focused and acted would have eliminated the number 2 and 3 guy from this list and let America continue to move forward as an example to the world rather than as the reactionary doofuses we look like now. They would have slapped down fundamentalism in all corners of the globe rather than allowing the greatest criminals to exist and even more so....fanning the flames of the previously dying Christian Fundamentalism in this country.
Who are they........

None other than........

Tied for First Place.......

1. Allah and Karl Rove

I realize this is going to require some explaining and that I cannot make it book length and expect you to read it. So I'll cut to the quick and dive right in.
First up- Allah
I'm tired of the free ride that gods get....ANY gods... when it comes to inflicting pain and misery on the world. These gods simply can either do better or they are irrelevant. It's up to them to decide. Now I know that some of you are going to be thinking or saying.....Lefty, Islam is a religion of peace....
Yeah well, my answer to that is that there are a group, a large group, of wackos out there that have hijacked the religion and apparently Allah himself as he seems powerless to stop their barbaric actions and thoughts. As I said before....no more free lunches for gods. If Allah is all powerful than its time to step up and crush the fundamentalist cult...if he won't, than I have to assume he can't and as a result...he becomes an evil Santa Claus. Someone to believe in until you know better...usually around age seven or eight.
By the way folks, this doesn't let other more "Western" gods off the hook. There is a long rich history of death, violence and subjugation that has been done in the names of more familiar gods. There are those in this country today that have decided that on the home front the best way to respond to eastern fundamentalism is with a rise in religious kookiness and fundamentalism of our own.
Unbelieveable response...yes, but true.
Anyway Allah....If there is no other god but you and Mohammed is your prophet then please start demanding a bit of accountability and righteous rage about the murders being done in your name.
Because frankly....can't or won't isn't cutting it and as a result...you top the list.
1a. Karl Rove-
Now if this one has you puzzled...let me get right to it.
The reason that I do not have other members of the Whitehouse Legion Of Doom on this list is simple. The only reason they are there and the only power that they have comes from Karl Rove.
The man is called, "Bush's Brain" for a reason. Well, for one, because every time Bush speaks off the cuff without receiving guidance from his "brain" we see exactly what kind of a dunce he is. While I know I must hold Bush accountable for what has happened under his reign I find often that it seems almost unfair.
You see, occasionally my 2 yr.old will accidentally drop her juice cup on the floor because her hands just aren't quite big enough or capable of firmly grasping the cup that she is trying to hold. To punish her for this would be ludicrous...she is simply doing the best she can in a world of big people.
Well, the same goes for Dubya. He's simple, folksy, probably a good drinking buddy, pretty damn stupid on the leadership stage and totally overmatched when it comes to holding his presidential juice cup.
I mean Rove is called BUSH'S BRAIN?!??! It isn't hard to see what this implies. The decisions, the plans, the policies come from the Puppet Master..not the puppet.
So, instead of Bin Laden and Zarqawi being dead as they should be....we are enmeshed in Iraq and took our eyes completely off the task at hand- Cutting Bin laden's head off of the snake.
Why you ask?
I think it's simple.
The American people are fiercely patriotic and also suffer from short attention spans. As a result, it would not do the administration any good to have had a dead Bin Laden on October 11, 2001 because the American people would have simply thought it was time to resume regular life. No it's much better to have an enemy ghosting around out there. Much better indeed.
An alive Bin laden means that the American people can become preoccupied with this war effort and not with things on the domestic front that are slowly stealing their lives away. Enron, Tyco, WorldCom....forgotten. Healthcare costs driving the middle class poor AND driving people to have to work longer and longer hours at the expense of their family life.
Renewed fundamentalism at home increases the deflection of attention. Focus on gay marriage and nativity scenes in town squares not on the fact that outsourcing of jobs, corporate welfare and a runaway deficit are changing American life for the worse.
When welfare does get mentioned...target individuals as cheaters and believe it or not...the public identifies more rage for any of these people than they do when giant corporations suck off your tax dollars, buy golden parachutes and trash the businesses and it's jobs at your expense.
Rove has mastered the pre-occupation principle at great cost to America.
Can the social evils of Rove's band of merry men be undone? Of course they can...history allows for full circle correction.
BUT....Rove isn't done yet and THAT'S why he is on the list. Dubya will mangle the language for the next four years and move on to Texas to live out his days in whatever ways puppets do.
Rove however will be looking for a protege and as a result I don't think he will be in any rush to smash the Islamic Fundamentalism movement. War works for his platform and policies. Republicans need a war and need an enemy to remain relevant in American politics. Without an enemy, the people start looking within.... social order becomes the issue of the day. Rove and the Republicans cannot have that.
And so.....while the foot soldier minions of Bin Laden get mowed down, the full frontal assault on the Islamic Fundamentalism movement will not occur. And while Rove probably thinks that the "Islamic Problem" is manageable....I would argue that the Romans looked at the Vandals and the Visigoths in much the same way.
And we all know what happened to them.

Now in keeping with the lighthearted ramblings above....I must insist that the only two people on the list that I would love to see killed in cold blood are Bin Laden and Zarqawi. Other than that....I'm simply smiling and saying to you all that the rest of them we can do without in the public arena and some of them are downright hurting us. This is why I call for the "cartoon Atwater....I mean..Anvil of heaven" to fall from the sky and save us from them.

Or....you can opt for redemption.
Lefty is merciful after all. (not so merciful that numbers 2 and 3 need apply....but merciful nonetheless)

For those of you mentioned that were simply annoying us.....stop it.
For those of you doing more damage. Don't apologize. Don't waste my time....just fix it.

Just fix it.

Counting Down: Number 10-6 on the much anticpated....Lefty's 2004 Top 18 List of People Who Should Die!

2004-12-30T10:38:00.000-05:00

Wow.....Long enough title, huh?

Here they are folks...numbers 10 through 6 on the "People Who Should Die" list in all of their miserable rotting glory.

Number 10: O.J. Simpson- Listen, just because he didn't get what he deserved years ago is no reason for him still to be hanging around and wasting quality space. In the end though, he doesn't make this list for the evil murders he committed....he makes this list because due to the murders the world will never again be able to revel in his thespian acting ability....AND THAT my friends, is a crime against humanity! The Naked Gun....Capricorn One and of course the inspiring Hertz rental car ads.....sigh....it's like knowing Shakespeare still walks among us and yet we are cruelly deprived of his talent.

9. Katherine Harris- Ok....I know she's a congresspersonwomanthing and so I am forced to remind the public that this is a comical and much anticipated humor list that in no way advocates or plans to have any involvement in anything connecting death to any of these prize people. In short...I hope they all live lives that are long and sorrowful.
Now...back to Cruella DeVille. You are a partisan hack that tried to do everything in your power to insure that the voices of Americans were not heard. You have no decency, no class and no business doing anything that involves representing anyone when your greatest claim to fame was your brazen attempt to have the people's wishes NOT be represented.
Take a look to Ohio this year where a Republican Sec. of State at least publicly handled the situation with a grace, a decency and a seeming desire to fulfill his duties despite his political leanings. It could have been done. You are the weakest fucking embarrasment of them all.

8. Terry McAuliffe- You get a big fat fucking "F" and I am so unbelieveably glad you are leaving. You led your party up against the dumbest, weakest and most mindnumbingly beatable candidate not once...but TWICE and you lost both times!!!
What the Fuck were you doing?!? I can only assume that you were looking out for you and only you and truly asleep at the wheel because I'm not sure you could be dumb enough to lose to Bush....so it must have been sabotage.
You have to wake up every morning knowing that you got bitchslapped by a rodeo clown in front of a national audience....and then in true Charlie Brown fashion...you went at the clown again and lost. You didn't lead and you lost. You make me sick. get the fuck out.

7. Usher and R. Kelly- Why together you ask? Well, the honest answer is I'm just not sure. Now, there are a million reasons...(most of them caught on video) that R. Kelly should be on this list. Oddly enough....I can't seem to summon up a lot of sympathy or understanding for a guy who uses his fame to bed underage girls and proceeds to piss all over them on film for his own personal movie collection. Consenting adults....hey, do what you want....pissing on young teenagers? You made the list. Now as for Usher....
Jesus, he seems to be a pretty clean cut mix for an Urban Pop singer. You know, the decent type who thanks Jesus for his Oscar and how he couldn't have made it without Jesus and then you realize his songs are all about getting freaky, deaky with "ho's he don't know" It begs the question...was Jesus in the studio when you recorded this? and he didn't slap that "I was a dork most of my life " look of your face for embarrasing him with this swill? Here's a thought....spend a little less time showing off the abs and a little more time on pinning back those dumbo sized ears to your head. You may be rich brother but every homie in the neighborhood can just smell the geek coming off you. You made the list...just because you irritate me. And you have to share a spot with R. Kelly......keep an eye on him, he might piss on you.

6. Scott Peterson- Maybe the only person on this list who will ACTUALLY die soon!
Scott...I don't know what your story is...I probably know less about the details than most people because frankly, after O.J. I swore that I would live my own life and not have to explain to God one day that I wasted living on Court TV. I do know this....you couldn't come up with enough of an alibi to even provide reasonable doubt in one juror's mind. That alone...is stunning! Remember...again...OJ was even able to do that.
So assuming the jurors were right.....you will get what you deserve. Did you really do this? Could you have hated this woman enough to have done this to her....to your baby? Unbelieveable.
On top of this....your sad, hateful life and the soap opera details of it swept across America like wildfire and once again....millions of people stop dreaming, achieving, teaching, educating, learning, questioning, growing, evolving.......etc. etc.....in order to smoke the crack that was your life. Your sickness became the opiate that soothed the masses this year....and for that, everyone suffers.

OK People....it's December 30th.....the top 5 are coming..maybe as soon as later this afternoon! Check back early and often!

Enough Peace on Earth: Lefty's 2004 Top 18 List of People Who Should Die!

2004-12-27T11:29:00.000-05:00

How would I smite thee???

Let us count the ways.....

I was feeling all kinds of post holiday happy today and then while drinking my coffee I wandered over to a friend's blog site to bask in the yuletide glow.
Apparently, she felt that this was an excellent time to send out a Boxing Day Bitchslap to everyone who was perhaps feeling a little bit too merry.
So....what to my wandering eyes did appear?
How 'bout a tough post about abortion and some tasty graphic photos to go along with it.

Mmmmmm....Mmmmmmm....good!

So....now that Christmas is fucking ruined I figured it would be a good time to share:

Drumroll please.....

Lefty's 2004 Top 18 List of People Who Should Die!

This section features 18 through 11

18. Paris Hilton and The Richie bitch....Christ they suck! Is there a need to say more? What's the over/under of homemade porno's that eventually come out featuring at least one of these talented actresses? I say...by the time they hit 35, there will be at least 7 publicly released "quality" home films.

17. Joe Theismann- Listen to just 30 minutes of any Sunday Night Football broadcast and you'll know EXACTLY what I mean. No one knows less, is wrong more and loves to hear his own voice more than this guy...with the exception of Free over on www.mobyrebuttal.blogspot.com.
Does he deserve to die for this??? Yes. But he should be flogged viciously first.

16. Anyone who asks why this list is only a Top Eighteen List and not a top twenty.
The fact is, I decided on 18 for two important reasons...one because i LIKED it and two because its one more than Bernie from www.bernietop17.blogspot.com/ has.
I'm already more interesting than him and now on top of that...I have one more reason to visit me than him.

15. The guys who came up with the Coors Light slogan....
" The Coldest Tasting Beer in the World"!
Cold is a temperature....NOT a taste you mindless fucks! Don't insult me with this shit. The worst thing is.....this was probably one of a bunch of submissions from some hapless ad company and this is what they chose as the BEST. Unbelieveable.
Death to the whole friggin' marketing department.

14. William Hung
I don't watch American Idol for a reason....because I don't want any more of my brain space to be invaded and held captive by senseless information that refuses to go away.
Enter William Hung.
I am not laughing with you or at you....you goofy bastard. I hate you for being so godamn pushy that I actually know who you are and can associate you with the worst song stylings ever. They are not " so bad that they're good"....they are so bad that you need to die.
Man Killed: Hung by vocal chords........(get it?)

13. Jesse Jackson.
Just shut up you worthless bastard. You have nothing left to say....not that you ever really did. Your claim to fame is that you were the ONLY one from your group of peers considered NOT worth killing because even the racist pointy hatted bastards could see that you were stupid and ineffectual.
You set back your people over and over again.
You are not a leader. You have failed your followers. Get out of the way.
and I'm a liberal....imagine what the conservatives say!

12. Zell Miller
You were a nobody to everyone but a few backwood Georgians and you couldn't handle it. You sold your soul and your miniscule legacy out to be a shill at the Republican convention because you wanted some attention. You are the saddest of them all.
The Republicans will forget you in about another 4 minutes and the Democrats will vilify you for betrayal forever.
Me...? I just think that it's clearly time for you to die because it's obvious even you don't want to be here anymore. No one is that publicly self destructive without clearly being in pain. Throw yourself from a tall rock old boy. You'll never get any dignity back but perhaps some of the kids might name a skateboarding move after you.....
You know, when they miss the flip and smash to the bottom of the pipe they could say......"Dude....I totally ZELLED out!!!!"

11. Grilled Cheese Mary
It's been 2000 years and your claim to fame in 2004 is that you were able to manifest yourself in the toasted bread of a grilled cheese sandwich.
What kind of fucking superpower is that?? Is that all you've got?
Here's an idea...worry less about getting in the news and attracting crowds and more about actually helping people. I realize you've been dead a long time now but one more stunt like this and I'll be lobbying hard to bring you back in order for you to be killed for this crap.
Knock it off.

Top Ten Coming Soon........

Best Wishes To You

2004-12-25T16:07:00.000-05:00

A sincere Merry Christmas from from the Lefty and Cheeky Clan. Be happy and safe today and all days!

Lefty's List

2004-12-22T09:50:00.000-05:00

Yes folks....I had to get in on this one.
So....here is MY list of "relationship deal breakers... or actually guidelines to whom they would consider dating in the first place..."

I, without hesitation, will NOT consider a relationship with any woman who:

1. Is not suffering from both nymphomania and amnesia

2. Is able to drive, dial a phone, send e-mail, remember my name or in any way contact me or identify me in a line up.

3. Is not a midget. Unfortunately this is the only marital "exception" clause that I have been able to secure permission for.

4. Is not my wife.

In the end.....it's incredibly satisfying to know you don't have to wonder about making the right choice anymore!

Republican Fashion: Turn to the left.....

2004-12-20T11:20:00.000-05:00

It's not the latest David Bowie song...but I suppose Bowie could be on the Governator's next movie soundtrack.
No...the newest next phase, dance craze, new wave, anyways....is the political advice that Ah-nold is handing out to his always tolerant of new ideas(...cough...gasp..) party members.

His advice: Go left, aging decrepit party members....

Click here for story

Now remember...this is the party that has controlled the Senate, the House and the Presidency for the last 4 years and still can't get anything done...BUT...they won an election and dammit...they don't feel the need to move leftward one damn iota.

Frankly....I hope they laugh Arnold out of town. It's better for me. It's better for America.

You see, parties dominating the political scene in Washington come and go....this evil lot too shall pass.
However, the public of this country has a lot more common ground than they think.
Somewhat conservative fiscal policies with progressive social policies can and will win the day in the future of this country provided the politician delivering the message isn't a wooden stump.
Arnold knows this.

You see...the Presidency and the Congress don't rest in the hands of the south or the breadbasket of America no matter how much journalists, pundits or Republicans might like you to believe.

They rest in the hands of the suburbs.

Urban areas will vote liberally almost every time.

Farm belt regions will vote conservative with the same passion.

The burgeoning suburbs are the battlegrounds of the present day and future.
Look at Pennsylvania as an example.
Both parties need their urban and rural bases to come out strong...this is understood.
However...the 4 to 5 county area outside of Philadelphia is the key to the state. It's affluent, educated, likely to vote and unpredictable.
You can carry this group by blending the best of progressive and conservative policies and in so doing...you can carry the state.
This is true across America.
Make suburban voters feel that you can blend these visions and they will go with you.
After all...these voters are the perect target group. They are too influenced and too exposed to city life to look at cities in the way that rural Americans do.
They understand that rubbing shoulders and close proximity forces a bit more open mindedness in life. A little more live and let live....
Yet, they have also seen urban centers waste opportunity, good will and most importantly...their tax dollars- often on supporting unnecessary local large government jobs and political slush funds.
They want conservative....business like management of their money but the majority also want progressive thinking and leadership on social issues, education issues and civil liberty issues.
The party that perfects this is the party that leads the next 20 years.

As for why I hope the Republicans don't follow this plan......?
Well, frankly, either party headed in this direction would certainly turn my head and in the end....it would certainly be better than the direction that the evil emporer has us headed.
I just can't trust the lunatic right and even the mid range right to not screw it up. Until the Republican party is able to purge the likes of James Dobson, Pat Robertson, Gary Bauer, Tom DeLay.....to the outide ring of no influence...then they cannot be trusted with my dog.....let alone my vote.

As for Ah-nold....hard to believe that the man who starred in Commando AND Twins could see this and yet the neo-loop jobs cannot.

Go figure....its a mad, mad, mad, mad world.

Lefty Calls A Press Conference....

2004-12-17T10:20:00.000-05:00

Ladies and Gentlemen,
Over the last several months, many of you have come to know me as a friend,
a voice of reason,
a spiritual guide,
a humorist, a hero....
and always....always...dedicated to being the very best Dark Imperial Overlord that I can be.

But there is another side to Lefty....a side none of you know yet its the very force that drives me.
It's why I wake up in the morning with the same damn smile day after day.

It's the side of being a husband and father.

Now....some of you may have figured out by now that my betrothed is none other than the infamous "Cheeky Monkey". ( Sorry ladies...the rumors are true...I am married)
I will be trying to convince Cheeky in the near future to share an online photo or two of herself for purely selfish reasons....
1. because she is crazy beautiful....(you already knew she was smart.)
2. because she chose to be with me and as a result i'm proud to rub my joy in the face of all who will listen

Anyway, I'd love for all of you to see the wind beneath Lefty's wings...hehe..( I hate that song)

The only thing that rivals how damn happy my wife makes me...... is my daughter.
God damn she can stop me dead in my tracks.
Her face holds all of the promise and love in the world.....and I enjoy being a father so much more than I ever knew I would.

Which my friends.....is where this press conference is headed.
No...I'm not going to get all McGreevey on you but rather....
I'm going to extoll my manliness and virility by sharing with you....my online minions...

That Lefty and Cheeky are eagerly and proudly expecting another child!

That's right my friends.....I did it again!

Estimated time of arrival: July the 5th.....

Now, there was a rumor floating around...O.K., it wasn't really a rumor but rather Ala and Jen giggling back and forth that whenever I got animated on kicking down my Leftyknowledge during the campaign....that Cheeky would get home all hot and bothered and that Lefty was guaranteed a good, good night.

Well...do your pregnancy math people and you may just find out that it's true.
In any event.....we are crazy excited and I figured I'd share the good news.

I figure, if we can't beat the right wing lunatics in the ballot box now....maybe I can help outbreed them for the sake of future elections.

"That is all we have at this time.....Lefty will now take your questions and comments...."

I, Consumer

2004-12-13T15:15:00.000-05:00

You buy furniture.
You tell yourself, this is the last sofa I will ever need in my life.
Buy the sofa, then for a couple years you're satisfied that no matter what goes wrong, at least you've got your sofa issue handled.
Then the right set of dishes.
Then the perfect bed.
The drapes.
The rug.
Then you're trapped in your lovely nest, and the things you used to own, now they own you.

Fight Club- Chuck Palahniak-
inspired by left vs. right fight club c/o Blonde Sagacity

Where your Mouth is......

2004-12-10T13:59:00.000-05:00

Some picture, huh?

The story here is in a nutshell that this is a photo of a Dutch-Iranian immigrant who in response to the new Dutch immigration laws, decided that this is how he would protest. (notice his eyes have stitches too)
Commitment.
You see....I may be a Lefty but I've never been a public protestor. I've tended to believe that exerting influence inside the system....for me....is how I can be most effective. This is not to say that I disapprove of people using their voice...signs or puppets to share a message......I've just never aimed to be a marionette.

Anyway, this picture got me thinking about a question that I'm going to pose to all of us....
If it wasn't for protest sake but rather would actually change the issue we cared about....
Who among us would be willing to do what the man in this picture did and for what cause would you do it? We all talk some pretty tough politics. How committed are we...?
I'm going to think about it as well....start leaving your answers now!

Front Lawn of the E.P.A.

2004-12-08T14:08:00.000-05:00

The Redneck's Calling Card....

I guess this is what they mean by "Bush Country"

Of course, the can was left behind by guys that look like this:

Who are the same guys most likely to be wearing a shirt that says this:

That is of course...when they are all gussied up in their finest. Most days
when not voting or drinking, you'll find them looking like
this:

(nah...scratch that...they can vote,drink and do this on a good day)

or this:

Click here and laugh!

and as a result, we now have to live with this!

Click here to view god damn hysterical picture

Ode to Cheeky Monkey...

2004-12-08T09:33:00.000-05:00

Click here to view picture

Bovine Growth Hormone

2004-12-07T11:29:00.000-05:00

I kept warning them about giving this stuff to cows....I kept saying that we had no idea how it might affect people, especially the kids.
But did they want to listen ....................
Nooooooo

Motley Who???

2004-12-06T13:18:00.000-05:00

So this weekend I overhear two people talking about music.
I'm not really paying attention until the one says excitedly..." Did you hear the new Motley Crue" album is coming out this week!!! I can't wait to hear it.......

Flashback to 1981 or so and a pre-teen LeftyJones is desperately trying to both learn how to play guitar as well as get my hair to grow long.....as opposed to wide...which is what we lucky folks with wavy hair get to deal with.
At this stage of my life...everyday was a bad hair day.

Now, I already had a love for rock music...the harder the better was becoming my rule and out of nowhere I stumbled across the not commercially successful album.."Too Fast For Love" by an unheard of band called Motley Crue.

I instantly was knocked out!
Soon after, I got my hands on their 2nd album...."Shout at the Devil" and my decision had been made!

LeftyJones was going to become an extremely successful, talented and carnal musician. Of course, being a preteen, I knew I had some time to learn the fundamentals of how to "rock"....and folks, I was on my way.

This dream didn't pass easilty and for many years I did chase my dream with a moderate amount of success and an enormous amount of fun. ( another post another time....)I did not achieve rock stardom but I do occasionally still threaten my wife that I'm thinking it may be time to put the band back together.
You know....maybe do a small tour in Japan first.
Or not.

Any way....back to the Crue!

Having known that they broke up a few years back and having not heard anything by them in years, I remembered to look around for them this weekend online to see what I could find.
I had really moved past their music since the late 80's but I admit to totally still loving those first few albums even if I only pull them out and dust them off every few years or so.

Anyway, I never even got as far as hearing any of the new songs. I was too busy being smacked in the face by the pictures I didn't want to believe!
How could this have happened?
Motley Crue getting older I could accept...you know, in that way we all accept things move forward but man....when I saw the lead singer I couldn't believe my eyes.
Here's what I mean.....
circa 1982

The lead singer...Vince Neil..is the one with the peroxided blonde hair

and

And here are the recent day photos....

In the Middle....

and an interview over 5 years ago??? he looked that old then?

and here he is in the new band release photos:
Apparently put on a serious diet after his appearance on the WB show " The Surreal Life"....sigh (he acually did that show??)

Whe you factor in the skinny cam, the make up and the fact that he apparently lost a lot of weight already......all I can say is WOW.

Age is a harsh mistress......

add some drugs....make that a lot of drugs....and hard living and I guess this is what you get.

As for me...I'm going to go work out right Now!

Taking Requests

2004-12-03T13:58:00.000-05:00

I'm not normally a "taking requests" kinda guy.
But when the request is for more Sherilyn Fenn pics...
Well, let's just say I'm willing to do the god awful work of sifting through them for the good ones.
I mean...there really isn't too much else this week to get worked up about.
Bush's cabinet are jumping ship faster than the passengers on the Titanic...but hey, we expected that. We can start mocking his "fore" year plan in the near future.
Today...I just feel too good to be concerned with the nimrod.

So...with that in mind...these go out to you Tesco...happy to oblige.

and......

Lefty Wins !!! Blogger and Haloscan Lose!!

2004-12-02T22:24:00.000-05:00

That's right....that's right.

Got the Haloscan...fixed my page....and kept my old comments.

$%##&*$@#!!! being technologically retarded....I win!

My next trick....getting my own web page, a new design and off this Blogger thing for good! That may take a little bit of time but I'm determined now. Hell, I may even pay to advertise my site and go big time.

It's good to be the king......
even better to be the Dark Imperial Overlord....Lefty Jones

2004-12-02T22:22:00.000-05:00

Haloscan commenting and trackback have been added to this blog.

F^^%#!$^&! Af-halo-blogger-scan-istan !!!!

2004-12-02T16:10:00.000-05:00

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.....

God I hate html....
I load the friggin' haloscan, can't seem to hide the old comments and still keep them and then....

I screw something up and now my links end up at the end of the page.

To make matters worse... know nothing about this stuff yet I am compulsive about trying to fix the problem.

Guess I know what I'll be working on tonight.

LOSER

It's her BRAIN that I'm attracted to......

2004-11-30T11:15:00.000-05:00

Yeah....right.
Ah.....an 80's flashback shoutout to....
Sherilyn Fenn!

I was never really that guy who bothered to hang posters all over the place of bikini clad beauties eyeing me up in a "come hither" kind've way.

This had nothing to do with me not being interested in scantily clad women, I just spent my time chasing after real ones as opposed to buying posters at the mall.

In fact, my recollection tells me that this image above may be the only real long term poster of any beauty to have adorned my walls for a long period of time.
The poster was about 4 ft. by 6 ft......huge!
And....you can just tell by the way she was looking at me....
Sherilyn wanted me bad.

Lefty O'Reilly ???

2004-11-29T11:24:00.000-05:00

Interesting article in todays's New York Daily news.
It's pasted below.
Just let me say for the record that I am not a big fan of Bill O'Reilly but I found his article to be fairly right on in this case.
It may be that his own legal issues have made him slightly more sensitive when dealing with fairness in the court of public opinion.
I also am not a huge Dan Rather fan and found that I would generally watch any other available station than the one he was on when it came to news. Something about him just annoys me....nothing specific...but something.

Anyway have a read and share your thoughts with me. I for one simply feel and agree with the article that I don't like the way smear tactics lead the day and become news....and are never held accountable for proof.
Whether it's bad mouthing Rather, The President, Kerry, O'Reilly......whoever...we only hurt our own society when reputations get ruined by loud mouthed partisan idiots with nothing but a bag of wind to blow and a loud microphone.

November 29,2004
New York Daily News

Dan got smeared

The ordeal of Dan Rather goes far beyond the man himself. It speaks to the presumption of guilt that now rules the day in America. Because of a ruthless and callow media, no citizen, much less one who achieves fame, is given the benefit of the doubt when it comes to allegations or personal attacks. The smearing of America is in full bloom.
Weeks before the election, Kitty Kelley put out a book defaming the entire Bush family. The allegations were primarily made by anonymous people, but that didn't stop the media from gleefully recounting all the sordid accusations. Some newspapers even put them on page one.

That smear came on the heels of the "Swift boat" attacks on John Kerry, an ordeal that may have cost him the election. While some of the Vietnam vets had valid points, more than a few of the accusations against Kerry were simply untrue. It didn't matter though - his war record became a negative.

Right-wing talk radio in particular pounded Kerry and also bludgeoned Dan Rather for his role in another smear incident - the charges against President Bush about his National Guard service. Again, Rather was found guilty without a fair hearing. Charges that he intentionally approved bogus documents that made Bush look bad were leveled and widely believed. It was chilling.

As a CBS News correspondent in the early '80s, I worked with Rather and have known him for more than 20 years. Listen to me: There is no way on this Earth that he would have knowingly used fake documents on any story.

It may be true that Rather did not vet the information supplied to him by producers, but few anchor people do. They are dependent on other journalists, and this is a huge flaw in the system.

Dan Rather is guilty of not being skeptical enough about a story that was politically loaded. I believe Rather, along with Andy Rooney, Walter Cronkite and other guardsmen of the old CBS News, is liberal in his thinking. That is certainly a legitimate debate - how for years CBS News has taken a rather progressive outlook. But holding a political point of view is the right of every American, and it does not entitle people to practice character assassination or deny the presumption of innocence. Dan Rather was slimed. It was disgraceful.

But you'll be seeing more of this kind of thing in the future. All famous and successful Americans are now targets. Unscrupulous people know that any accusation can be dumped on the Internet and within hours the mainstream media will pick it up. It will be printed in the papers, discussed on radio and TV and become part of the unfortunate person's résumé whether he or she is guilty or not. A click of the Internet mouse can wipe out a lifetime of honor and hard work. Just the accusation or allegation can be ruinous.

Let me ask you something: In the future, do you think potential public servants and social crusaders are going to risk being brutally attacked within this insane system? I don't. I think many good people are simply going to walk away from the public arena.

Dan Rather did not get what he deserved in this case. He made a mistake, as we all do, but he is not a dishonest man.

Unfair freedom of speech did him in. This is not your grandfather's country anymore.

Condi get your gun!

2004-11-23T11:55:00.000-05:00

Condi.....why the scowl?
Things are looking up for you!
On your watch, America was attacked, the Twin Towers fell, 3000 people died...
AND you're getting promoted!!!

Now to be fair....you were NSA advisor for 4 years and I'm sure outside of the September the 11th slip up, you were responsible for dozens of other impressive things that would qualify you to be Secretary of State.
Things like......

(crickets chirping)

Well....I'm sure there was some good stuff.
Good luck Condi! Then again....with the way things are going for you....you don't need good luck, you obviously have it by the bucketload!

Beneath Us.....

2004-11-22T11:43:00.000-05:00

I've always been slightly amused at the ridiculous reasons and excuses we have been given for years now when it comes to failing at patrolling our southern border.
We always hear about how undermanned we are or what a "big border" it is......blah blah blah.
Come on, who do you think you're kidding???
There is nothing going on down there that fences, cameras, motion detectors, patrolen and dogs couldn't handle.
With the sophisticated electronic equipment we have available we should be able to see EVERYTHING, day or night.
I mean....at the very least, doesn't our national security demand this type of vigilance??
Well, my friends...here's one take on it all.

I believe we are watching our borders much more closely than many people think....but not in any way is our government concerned with illegal aliens from Latin America. No, we're watching for the usual terrorist stuff but the daily thousands of people looking for work....?
Let em' on through!

Why? Why is this?
Why is Bush...a conservative...looking to open the borders to workers and to legitimize the illegal immigrants already here??
The cynical answer would be to say....big business is the reason why. And while it might be cynical...it would also be true. You see, illegal immigrants will work hard at work most Americans consider beneath them and for less money than you would have to pay an American. Corporate Farms and Meat packing companies could not survive without them...or so they say.
The fact is...they could survive but their prices would rise drastically to pay the American worker.
I'm not going to lay all of the blame at the feet of big business however.....there is plenty to go around.
What does it say about Americans and our culture that we have jobs that the unemployed feel they are "too good" to take and at the same time we have a society that won't pay a wage people can live on to do these jobs?
Are cheap prices on everything such a non-compromise issue that we will drive American workers right out of the workplace?
What is fair?

I suppose we'll be dickering with these answers for a long time to come. In the meantime, immigrants both legal and illegal will keep coming in waves and doing what they have been doing for the last 300 years.....
Working their asses off for wages most of us wouldn't take and yet finding ways to get ahead because they see what all new Americans see....a Land of Opportunity and they aren't about to fail now.
Something to think about when we feel like complaining, huh?

Outshined

2004-11-18T13:43:00.000-05:00

It takes a picture like this one to remind us how small the other three seem whenever William jefferson is around.
I'm not one who belives in amending the Constitution lightly....but I would agree to having the amendment limiting presidential terms overturned.
For one, it's not very American to limit our choices as national leader when every other type of elective federal service allows for repeat terms. Of course....this amendment only occured because no one wanted to see another FDR spank the Republicans for 20 years.
Even better though would be the potential of a Bubba and Dubya '08 run off. It would be a spectacular show!
Unfortunately, it won't happen....but damn I would have loved to have seen it.

Unwanted Children.......

2004-11-17T13:18:00.000-05:00

This sad story is in today's news.
Even at today's relatively low birth rate....these numbers are frighteningly high.
And they are not just numbers.
They are real children that their parents didn't want or wouldn't care for.

CNN.com

REPORT: More than 100,000 kids await adoption

WASHINGTON (AP) -- More than 100,000 children who have been abused or neglected by their biological parents are languishing in foster care, waiting to be adopted. The explanations are practically universal, with nearly every state facing the same problems in running its child welfare agency, a report finds.

Among the problems: Agencies and courts are reluctant to terminate the legal rights of biological parents, and states have trouble finding adoptive parents, particularly for older kids, kids with siblings, children with behavior problems and black kids........

Dear Republicans:

2004-11-15T10:53:00.000-05:00

Frankly, there has a been a lot of moaning and whining from the republicans that I know or read about as to why the Left leaning blogs are being so whiny themselves.
Some have even taken the time to congratulate themselves for not gloating while they continue to admonish democrats and tell them what their party needs to do.
Some....have even more laughably tried to preach the always comical..."now it's time to come together" speech and then talk about their self proclaimed mandate and how the left has to come to them.
There seems to be much confusion amongst Republicans about why the left isn't just "getting over it"....as a result, I'd like to give you my opinion as to why.
I must caution that I do not claim to be a representative for all on the left. Part of the beauty and the political difficulty for the left is that we actually have strong and loud voices on both the moderate and more far wing sides of the party and these sides don't sacrifice their beliefs in an effort to march lockstep with party directives. With that in mind, I will share the opinions of the larger number of democrats I speak to.

The election is over. On this we can all agree.
Many on the left find it funny that even in victory the right is now obsessed with trying to prove that they are not all rednecks, or bible thumpers and whatever else.
Be whatever you are....we may tease you about it or actually look on some of your views with disdain but we don't really care much about "what" you are...we care about your agendas and plans.

Certainly, there are many different types of democrats as well. Here on the blogs...I can hardly think of a time that I have read anything from a blue collar union guy that loves his union and mostly cares for union issues. I tend instead to read from primarily well educated....probably middle class or up...democrats who take the time to debate or promote their views and issues based on their concerns and interests for America.
That idea of "different" types of democrats has never mattered much to Republicans.
Your party and it's mouthpieces have spent 16 years with much success demonizing the word liberal and categorizing every democrat as too liberal and dangerous for America.
This is the attack plan you chose.
Words matter.

24 hours a day the attack right wing radio stations blast their message of hate and distrust on democrats. All democrats. Last minute efforts to embrace Republicrat Zell Miller and Joe Lieberman don't really account for much as you only use them to tell us what our party needs to be more like.
Last time I checked, winning elections does not mean you also get to decide what the opposition party needs to reinvent itself as.
I'd rather lose for forty years and be correct in my views than sell out to become a Republican disguised as a democrat.

And you see....at it's root, that's one of the biggest differences between us.

Republicans look at the political world and the world around us as a playing field where they own the ball and they make the rules. Their only interest in civility occurs when they don't need to compromise.
I understand the idea that the "winners make the rules" but I want to lay out for you why many of us will not be "coming together" with you and supporting the president or your party's policies.

1. Saying that we " Are all Americans" doesn't work anymore.
What exactly does being an American mean to you? To me, being an American means standing for something...pursuit of life, liberty and happiness. Being strong AND benevolent. Increasing rights and justice....not decreasing them. Leading the world by example, not at gunpoint. It also means knowing that when it's time to use your force, you have the moral authority and cause to do so because you have not been childish and reckless in the past.
When you start to tear down what being an American means, you leave nothing to rally around as a people except for the fact that we all want to be safe and be able to have a job. These are good things....but they are also basic human wants, they don't make our bond stronger and they won't help us move forward.
If the America you are trying to create does not resemble the America we know.....what connection remains?

2. Your party began the war of labels in 1980 and 1988 when you demonized a whole class of Americans as dangerous to American ideals, values and family life by branding them as too liberal. You used isolated examples of bad judge decisions and began scaring America starting with Willie Horton and continuing through the Iraq "imminent threat" farce.
You believe in fear as a motivating tactic and that your personal security authorizes you to invade others and get facts later, hold people with no rights to trial for however long you like and tamper with 230 years of the American tradition trying to enforce that government does not have the right to meddle or spy on peoples lives. (Patriot Act)
Please spare me the tears when democrats call you bible bangers, ok?
You have painted democrats as anti-soldier, unpatriotic and weak on defense. I am none of those things and those charges are strong.
I will not join with you now.

3. I do not care what Middle America thinks.
I have found amusing the number of Republican commentators that have said that democrats are doomed unless they get to know, understand or relate to Middle America.
Then I guess we are doomed.
America has been successful largely for its experimentation. The boldness with which Americans took chances, opened doors, made risky ventures and thought with great vision.
I do not have any interest in dumbing down America's potential to appeal to folks who elect a president because...as many said, "he's more of a regular guy."

Think of this when you refer incorrectly that this country was founded largely by Christians.( Many were deists)
Jefferson, R. Morris, G. Morris, Adams, Franklin, Hamilton, Wilson, Madison and Washington were not regular guys.....they were the elite. The best and brightest among us.
Most were highly educated and intellectually accomplished people.
I will look for leaders like these....the best among us.
I will not look to identify better people who always want to look backwards to good old days that never existed but rather to those who believe in our continual progression.

4. You are the party of government intrusion.

The Republican party stands for:
A. Passing a constitutional amendment AGAINST gays having the right to marry.
B. Overturning Roe vs. Wade and AGAINST the current rule of law defending
a woman's right to her own body.
C. Passage of permanent laws that begin to erode citizen rights and enable government spying because of security fears.
D. A doctrine of attacking nations pre-emptively that are deemed potential threats whether correct or not. Citizens of the other countries will be relieved to know that while their parents may be dead in an errant bomb target site...."freedom is on the move"

In an effort to keep this post at a readable length....I will pause here but will be prepared to re-engage as necessary or battle it out in the comments section.

Republican friends.....you again have what you strove for.....both houses of congress and the presidency.
You do not need our help.
You will not have mine.
I would rather see democrats lose for the next 50 years than be an accomplice in both dismantling what made America great due to security fears, issue fanatiscism or evangelical frenzy.
I believe in a country that looks relentlessly to protect itself and that promotes a live and let live mentality....one that looks to increase freedoms and rights, not restrict them due to your habit of reading very old books.

If America truly has become a living example of the inmates running the asylum....well, I'm not going to join up with the inmates because they are in control.
You can pass any legislation without our help.
The president can sign any bill into law without our help.
Your spokespeople and mouthpieces have labeled the left as enemies...even sometimes equating us......US.....as akin, equal or at the minimum....appeasers of terrorists and all enemies of America.
We are thrown in under...."defeating terrorism, despotism and liberalism".....

We have been declared the virtual enemy by your party and your mouthpieces for the better part of 20 years......do not be surprised now if we look at your party and what it stands for with contempt.
If the country is molded to become a reflection of that party....then there is nothing left for me to do but fight it.
I cannot join.
I will not.

You have a mess in front of you and you have shot the friends alongside of you.
I suppose it'll either work out or your party will get out.
We are not appeasers.
and to prove it, count on our resistance every damn time you swipe at American rights and ideals.
Expect no political help.
Enjoy lying in the bed you made....you're on your own.

Obscene, Filthy and Funny

2004-11-13T13:23:00.000-05:00

Ok...I got this e-mail the other day which sent me this link.

It's from FucktheSouth.com ( sorry Jen, Bigandmean and JFM)

It's crude, I actually edited out about a thousand Fwords...which will mean something once you see how many are still there!

I have no idea if the facts are accurate but I hope to research a few of them tomorrow and report back.
Basically...I found it juvenile and at the same time.......seriously snickering funny.

Let me know what you think.

om http://www.fuckthesouth.com ...
Fuck the South. Fuck 'em. We should have let them go when they wanted to leave. But no, we had to kill half a million people so they'd stay part of our special Union. Fighting for the right to keep slaves - yeah, those are states we want to keep.

And now what do we get? We're the Arrogant Northeast Liberal Elite? How about this for arrogant: the South is the Real America? The Authentic America. Really?

Cause we founded this country, assholes. Those Founding Fathers you keep going on and on about? All that bullshit about what you think they meant by the Second Amendment giving you the right to keep your assault weapons in the glove compartment because you didn't bother to read the first half of the sentence? Who do you think those wig-wearing lacy-shirt sporting revolutionaries were? They were blue-staters, dickhead. Boston? Philadelphia? New York? Hello? Think there might be a reason all the monuments are up here in our backyard?

No, No. Get the fuck out. We're not letting you visit the Liberty Bell and Plymouth Rock anymore until you get over your real American selves and start respecting those other nine amendments. Who do you think those stripes on the flag are for? Nine are for blue states. And it would be 10 if those Vermonters had gotten their goddamn Subarus together and broken off from New York a little earlier. Get it? We started this shit, so don't get all uppity about how real you are you Johnny-come-lately "Oooooh I've been a state for almost a hundred years" dickheads. F*** off.

Arrogant? You wanna talk about us Northeasterners being arrogant? What's more American than arrogance? Hmmm? Maybe horsies? I don't think so. Arrogance is the cornerstone of what it means to be American. And I wouldn't be so f***ing arrogant if I wasn't paying for your f****** bridges, bitch.

All those Federal taxes you love to hate? It all comes from us and goes to you, so shut up and enjoy your Tennessee Valley Authority electricity and your fancy highways that we paid for. And the next time Florida gets hit by a hurricane you can come crying to us if you want to, but you're the ones who built on a goddamn swamp. "Let the Spanish keep it, it’s a shithole," we said, but NO....you had to have your f***ing orange juice.

The next dickwad who says, "It’s your money, not the government's money" is gonna get their ass kicked. Nine of the ten states that get the most federal dollars and pay the least... can you guess? Go on, guess. That’s right, genius, they're red states. And eight of the ten states that receive the least and pay the most? It’s too easy, Einstein, they’re blue states. It’s not your money, assholes, it’s our money. What was that Real American Value you were spouting a minute ago? Self reliance? Try this for self reliance: buy your own f***ing stop signs, assholes.

Let’s talk about those values for a damn minute. You and your Southern values can bite my ass because the blue states got the values over you "Real Americans" every day of the goddamn week. Which state do you think has the lowest divorce rate you marriage-hyping dickwads? Well? Can you guess? It’s Massachusetts, the f***ing center of the gay marriage universe. Yes, that’s right, the state you love to tie around the neck of anyone to the left of Strom Thurmond has the lowest divorce rate in the nation. Think that’s just some aberration? How about this: 9 of the 10 lowest divorce rates are f***ing blue states, asshole, and most are in the Northeast, where our values suck so bad. And where are the highest divorce rates? Care to guess? 10 of the top 10 are red-ass we're-so-goddamn-moral states. And while Nevada is the worst, the Bible Belt is doing its part.

But two guys making out is going to ruin marriage for you? Yeah? Seems like you're ruining it pretty well on your own, you little bastards. Oh, but that's ok because you go to church, right? I mean you do, right? Cause we get to hear about it every goddamn year at election time. Yes, we're fascinated by how you get up every Sunday morning and sing, and then you're towers of moral superiority. Yeah, that's a workable formula. Maybe us Northerners don't talk about religion as much as you because we're not so busy sinning, hmmm? Ever think of that, you self-righteous assholes? No, you're too busy erecting giant stone tablets of the Ten Commandments in buildings paid for by the Northeast Liberal Elite. And who has the highest murder rates in the nation? It ain't us up here in the North, assholes.

Well this gravy train is f***ing over. Take your liberal-bashing, federal-tax-leaching, confederate-flag-waving, holier-than-thou, hypocritical bullshit and shove it up your ass.

And no, you can't have your f***ing convention in New York next time. F*** off.

"Think of how stupid the average American is. Then realize half of 'em are even stupider than that" ----George Carlin

Getting (or missing) the Point

2004-11-09T09:33:00.000-05:00

It seemed that over the last week or so there was a lot of talk amongst the media, Right Wing radio, gloating republicans and despondent democrats about what the democrats have to do to recover from such a devastating (cough) loss.

I decided to have a little fun a put forth some strategy ideas....as if I were a party bigwig......about what can be done to change election results over the next 8 years.

One thing that I have taken from both this election and the last election is a Rovian view of the landscape. This means simply.....study the map, identify weakspots, never stray from what you have to say and recognize that 50.1% is all you need for a win.

There is no need to battle for "the hearts and minds" of all of America. Most of America votes predictably and if the candidates are even half decent we know which way the states will go. Swing states are the focus of the day. Now, you must energize your base no doubt but for democrats and republicans alike....majorities will be decided by who moves the voters in the states that straddle the fence.

Dubya won in 2000 despite losing the popular vote....basically 531 people in Florida were the difference between him winning and losing.
Dubya won in 2004 by essentially 140,000 votes in Ohio even though he won the popular vote this time by about 3 million votes.
This should serve as an example to strategists on both sides as to how close this "thing' is and that it only takes a sliver of difference to change an outcome.

With that in mind, the strategies I am dreaming up and presenting are NOT intended to be feel good messages that captivate the masses. They are divide and conquer tactics that can help win a trench fight in a close battle.

I don't believe that high and mighty ideas can win an election these days. I have come to believe that unfortunately, in the end, it comes down to spin, small doses of message, likeability and partisan backing.
We may in the future see a candidate with an explosive personality and leadership to boot but that hasn't been what's we've been offered lately. In fact, most of the less partisan people I know were truly disgusted by the choices last week and couldn't believe that "either of those clowns were the best we could come up with."

So, with that in mind, please feel free to enjoy arguing the points raised but remember this exercise is specifically about winning a political fight that doesn't rely on ideas to win but rather organization and strategy.

I mean this last part wholeheartedly.
The whole point of trying to exercise my brain in this fashion is because I don't believe that bold ideas had anything to do with this past election.
Caution, smear tactics, fear tactics and general vagueness ruled the day on both sides. While as a citizen, this depresses me, it has also caused me to take another look at the Rovian world view.

Karl Rove seems to believe that the election process doesn't have anything to do with moving America.....it's being in charge, in control, that gives you the ability to move America in the direction you see fit. A well managed campaign and a generals view of the electoral battlefield map CAN win you that war and for this reason.....the rules have changed a bit and the strategies are worth studying.

Split, Crack…You’re Under Attack!

2004-11-08T15:48:00.000-05:00

First things first.
I am not getting into the morality of abortion, whether you think or I think it is right or wrong is secondary to this argument.
This is political strategy…plain and simple.

A couple of truths.
Almost no one is seriously for abortion.
This means that while many are of the believe that it should be safe and legal….very few sit around during the day and say things to themselves like…..”I hope there are a lot of abortions today….at least, hopefully more than yesterday….”
No….I’m afraid this does not happen much at all.

The argument…..the political argument on this issue, is wrapped in morality, freedom and scientific debate.
People on both sides of Roe vs. Wade can spin the debate almost any way they choose using these tools. But here are a few simple facts. People that feel strongly about the abortion issue tend to line up tightly with one party or another.

Most anti-choice/pro-life people tend to be Republican
Most pro-choice people tend to be democrat.

It’s not an ironclad rule….but it is fairly foolproof.
This issue also tends to be one of the ones that voters will swing on with the most volatility.

As a political issue, I will not question whether or not the politicians on the right are sincere in their anti-abortion beliefs.
I will say…..they are getting a free ride and a free ride that should be over!!!

The Democratic Action Plan

1.Prepare a full tilt advertisement blitz based on a campaign that basically says…..

Time to put up or shut up! Or…….Go Ahead, we dare you…..do it now!

Allow this campaign to pressure Republicans to force legislation to the floor this year that would ban all abortions in every case and overturn Roe vs. Wade.
If need be, have a democrat introduce the legislation (preferably one in a conservative district)

You see, Republicans for too long have been able to get away with saying they are against abortion and as a result, placating the religious conservatives in their base because……bluntly, they HIDE behind the Supreme Court.
As a result, they do not even attempt to write legislation to ban abortion outright and they are not forced to be truly tested on the issue.
The Republicans own both houses and the Presidency…..they can write a bill and have it signed into law and sent to the Supreme Court…..right now!

If the court says “no” on the constitutionality, they simply submit again in a few years when the court has new members.
But they never do this.
Why? Because they don’t have to and because they don’t want to because the status quo keeps the Religious Right in their pocket but doesn’t cost them in areas where a total abortion ban would kill them politically.

So here we go:
1. Plan full tilt ad campaign daring or begging the Right Wing to do what they’ve promised and ban all abortions without exception in America.
2. Introduce legislation that is this strict and this severe from a democrat in an area that would respond to this “moral” showing
3. Explain the plan and it’s risks to your base but understand that as abortion is truly threatened….activism will increase.
4. Begin running ads and going on the talk shows to discuss the record of every congress person that claims to be against abortion but that has not to this point introduced legislation that demands an outright ban or voted for legislation like this.
Work in the political season to charge Republican congress folk with being “too moderate….too liberal” and charge them relentlessly with being PRO- ABORTION. When they deny….request their legislation to ban outright all abortions. Invite their religious supporters to be part of this process.

Use campaign ads that look like this:

Senator Blank has been in Washington for 12 long years….12 years that he has been telling us about his fight for conservative values……family values….American values.
Family Values….you say?
Did you know that in the last 12 years Senator Blank has not even once, NOT EVEN ONCE voted to ban abortion in this country outright although he claims to be against it.
Senator Blank also cut education programs (sex-ed but don’t say it…hehehe) that were designed to reduce the number of abortions in this country and as a result helped encourage more of our young women to have abortions.
Senator Blank …….never voted once to ban all abortions.
Promoted risky behavior by cutting education.
Senator Blank…….Pro Abortion…..and anti-family……and there’s nothing conservative or American about that.

Paid for by People who don’t want Senator Blank to get their babies.

Now keep in mind……this is an opening salvo to force a vote…..a vote that 99% won’t happen because the republicans don’t want it and if it doesn’t happen……every ad campaign leads off by informing America of the Pro-Abortion stance of their Republican congressperson.

Now the Democrats must be willing to put forward a few candidates in the more conservative areas that are anti-abortion and vocal. This will allow for abortion to move a bit from being a one party issue to a minority issue in both parties.

This circumstance will be helped by forcing a vote NOW to ban all abortions. While most Republicans won’t want to deal with this issue…..their religious branch will not allow it to die.
You can almost hear the crack splitting through the party…….

The goal my friends is to welcome a few conservatives in key areas back to the party in order to break the red state logjam…..not to change the socially progressive stance of the party.

And let’s face it…..there is nothing quite like putting someone’s feet to the fire and this abortion issue is a completely untested one for Republicans. They act as though they are powerless because of the court……remind them publicly and nationally that their sense of moral outrage demands legislation NOW….even if voted down…..
And you will hear the cracking begin….

I will add comments based on your questions……..
Next issue…..Gay America, Gay marriage, Marriage as a church institution and other church institutions that we may want to consider bringing back.

The Big Idea

2004-11-08T09:58:00.000-05:00

"I am the Dread Pirate Roberts.......
There will be no survivors......."
Ah.... a little Monday morning Princess bride to lighten the mood!

Fact is folks.....my disposition's so goddamn sunny I barely ever need to lighten the mood around here, but hey...
It's a Monday and I'm feeling benevolent.

So.
It's been nearly a week since the election and I've noticed some interesting things as I've monitored the culture. I'd like to highlight a few of them in no particular order.
1. Many Republicans think that 51 or 52 % in a vote indicates a mandate. Maybe those children "got left behind" and never quite learned the definition of the word.
2. When hyperventilating that "W" got even more votes than Reagan during this election....there is often a failure to mention that so did Kerry. It's simply that more people voted.
3. Many Republicans seem to think that you can spend a year or two...(or four) viciously attacking those with other opinions to the point of questioning their very patriotism and THEN.....after the election say trite things about "all coming together" and not understand why some of us can't stop laughing at them.
4. Many Republicans also seem to think that the Democrats need to change their message or face doom....doom....doom and seem to want to spend unusual quantities of time on thinking about or talking about what democrats must do.
5. many democrats feel as though the situation is hopeless and that we are now doomed to become a nation run by the redneck party.

Well, my friends....after a few days of deliberation I have come to bring you all of the answers you've been waiting for!

Yes, the democrats lost and at least 51 % of Americans did not identify with the party or the candidate.

No, that does not mean that an agenda of fiscal discipline, and progressive social policy cannot win the day....even with all the yahoo red staters out there.

The democrats do not need to learn anything from the republicans or the last election other than that they need new coaching and a new plan of attack..
They need to borrow from the Karl Rove plan of attack...the motto being,
" If I refuse to recognize a problem, it does not exist,
and if you say anything long enough and loud enough and do not waver, it will become true."

Very smart political strategy.
It also does not imply that the Republicans don't have hopeful goals for America once they are in power....it simply states that the FIRST goal is that power must be achieved at any cost.

What I plan to unveil over the next few days is a plan....a roadmap...that would allow the democratic policy of social progressiveness that I support flourish, while sending the Republican party reeling over the next 8 years.
This goal can be achieved by sending a positive message to America while at the same time tearing apart the coalition of fringe groups that help provide the swing vote to the GOP.

And.....just for kicks and to show how ready I am.....the first topic I'm going to unveil will be how to take the abortion issue away from the republicans as a strong suit and turn it into one that splits the party.

This is going to be fun. But it will also be an exercise.
I welcome comments and opinions but want to state clearly that the results of this last election showed me that unfortunately, the hearts and minds of Americans are moved more by fear than by hope and more by how things used to be than how they ought to be.
People do not often venture into change easily......and if they cannot be persuaded to stop clinging to fear and chaining society to their biblical views...well, then they must simply be broken and outvoted.
This strategy will hopefully provide some thought and some good discussion on exactly how this will all work out.
Stay Tuned

Reduced to this.......

2004-11-04T10:53:00.000-05:00

While there isn't much to be happy about this week, we can't overlook any small favors. If it takes a moderate republican ( I've heard of these....besides Specter, do they exist?) to beat back the advances of the Extreme Right Wing Zealots...well then, for now I'll simply enjoy the infighting to follow.

Specter warns Bush on high court nominations
By LARA JAKES JORDAN

Associated Press
PHILADELPHIA -- The Republican expected to chair the Senate Judiciary Committee next year bluntly warned newly re-elected President Bush today against putting forth Supreme Court nominees who would seek to overturn abortion rights or are otherwise too conservative to win confirmation.

Sen. Arlen Specter, fresh from winning a fifth term in Pennsylvania, also said the current Supreme Court now lacks legal "giants" on the bench.

"When you talk about judges who would change the right of a woman to choose, overturn Roe v. Wade, I think that is unlikely," Specter said, referring to the landmark 1973 Supreme Court decision legalizing abortion.

"The president is well aware of what happened, when a bunch of his nominees were sent up, with the filibuster," Specter added, referring to Senate Democrats' success over the past four years in blocking the confirmation of many of Bush's conservative judicial picks. "... And I would expect the president to be mindful of the considerations which I am mentioning."

When truth doesn't win.....

2004-11-03T16:18:00.000-05:00

Today is a bad day for America but will one day be seen in a different light.
We will survive this, and thrive again, just as we have survived every other threat to America's greatness.
These next four years will be challenging at best but history will one day see this as a time of strength....a time of testing....a time that America defined itself by not crumbling when being attacked from without or dismantled from within.

We will fight and win another day.
but for now.....

hang on.

2004-11-03T13:00:00.000-05:00

It just might work.......

Why fight about it? We could just take everything in our states....you know, everything that's impressive about America....and you can keep your wheat and tobacco.
It's a win-win situation.
Our property becomes southern property.....the vacation land of the United States of Canada.
And you can all impose theocratic government in the United Red States and elect Jesus to be eternal life long president.
It just might work......

Want to know who the next President will be? Watch this football game.....!

2004-10-29T10:55:00.000-04:00

"The outcome of Washington Redskins football games has correctly predicted the winner of every U.S. presidential election since 1936.

The Redskins have proved to be a time-tested election predictor. In the previous 15 elections, if the Skins have lost their last home game prior to the election, the incumbent party has lost the White House. When they have won, the incumbent has stayed in power.

This election year, that deciding game takes place on Sunday, October 31 ... vs. Green Bay."

Should be interesting!

Go Green Bay!

Open letter to Frater

2004-10-27T14:25:00.000-04:00

If any of you care to scroll down to my posting titled " I report, you decide " you would see that the respected Frater Bovious left some thoughtful comments that I wanted to address and move to the top of the docket.

The whole post was interesting but the area that I thought really hit the nail home was the final couple of sentences.

They were:

"It is too bad that the first, last, and only real argument from the left is that people on the right are ignoramuses.

Somehow, I don't see myself that way. Guess I'm just too stupid to grasp the nuance." fb

Frater, I feel your pain. It's not as though I agree with your statement on this but I sense a weariness on your part from being labeled and from seeing what you believe to be absolutely unfair accusations from the left on everything from policy to personal qualities....and on THAT I can relate.

Of course, my objections pertain to those same characterisitics coming from the right, but my frustration is the same.

I want to be clear that I do not believe that everyone on the right, or even most of the people on the right are ignoramuses or even slightly stupid. The conversations we have had here in Blogworld help to illustrate that point.

No....my frustration with those on the right isn't their stupidity, it's their general extremism in their views, matched by an ability to classify everything in black and white without caring about the short sightedness or misery that it causes people.
Frater, you have proven yourself to be more thoughtful than that and I have admired your willingness to draw your own lines rather than regurgitate the party faithful. I would hope from some of my postings you would say something generally similar.

My first, last and best arguments are NEVER that people on the right are ignoramuses.
It may be true...but that's NEVER my argument. :) Aside from joking around or posting a "poll result" like the one I showed, I don't really focus on that issue.

I don't fear the stupid. I do worry about the clever when they show high levels of cunning, greed and basic indifference to the people at large.
I believe that this type of attitude is rife throughout politics but especially in the blood of the GOP.

We could probably talk about hundreds of issues from taxes, to abortion, to pre-emptive strikes, to voter disenfranchisement and it might all be interesting but probably a bit too long for this post. As a result, I will pick one issue, The War on Iraq, and try to succinctly explain what my real problems with conservaties are in a nutshell.

September 11th- America Attacked

Bush wants Bin Laden and vows we will get him "Dead or Alive"

Invasion of Afghanistan- Bush warns that " Bin Laden can run but he can't hide" and "that we will smoke him out of his hole"

Bush claims, "you're either with us or you're against us" as a general threat to the countries of the world.

Fall/Winter of 2002- The build up to war with Iraq

January 2003- Iraq is a clear and present danger according to the administration

We are warned and shown the locations of the weapons that are known as WMD's and that are a direct threat to our security.

America Invades Iraq

Occupation begins

No WMD's are found

Bush photo op's onto a plane in flight suit- you know......"Mission Accomplished" and declares the end to major combat.

Still looking for weapons.

Sadaam Hussein found in hole.

Factions of resistance become harder to put down

hostages being taken by terrorists/resistance groups

No " 911" link between Iraq and Bin Laden found.

Tenuous links between the group are found at all.

Bush when questioned replies: " He doesn't really spend a lot of time thinking about Bin Laden"

Intelligence flaws are bandied about, smaller players in the administration admit that our intelligence wasn't as good as it should have been.

Terrorism inside Iraq is now flourishing....around 1100 American soldiers are dead, over 7000 wounded and.....

uncounted numbers....thousand upon thousand of Iraqi's are dead, maimed, disfigured, charred. Children without hands, legs, parents, homes or a future.

Claimed hope that elections will occur after new year.....significant portion of the country is not under coalition control.

With this very fast overview......I'd like to spell out succinctly why anyone who supports Bush on just this one issue is viewing the world as black and white and as a result endangering us all.
_______________________________________

Around 3000 people died on September the 11th and the world mourned with us. people from those U.N. countries that we now hate lined the streets by the hundreds of thousands to share in our grief. We promised we would not forget. We chose not to remember when the lives being lost were not our own.

We have a sworn enemy that attacked us, laughed about it and swore to do it again. Our president does not "spend much time thinking about him" anymore.

Against 225 years of history and precedent we attacked a nation, and KILLED a lot of people because we believed that this nation posed a threat.
The intelligence was wrong at best. We now use the ends to justify the means.

The occupation has had limited success, may go on indefinitely and is costing American lives every day....not to mention the billions of dollars.

Someone should take responsibility for this....no one will. How do they get away with it? Make everything black and white.

Start saying things like:

You're either with us or against us.
You don't support the troops
Sadaam was a bad man, he gassed his own people
It's either over there or it's going to be over here
You have to stay on the offensive in terror

The most offensive thought out there is that if somehow you don't support this war that you are unpatriotic or a threat to our own country!

Maybe the worst of these comments is,:
Hey...I agree it's a shame that Iraqi's are dying but you know, freedom comes at a cost, it's not free and besides, imagine living how terrible living under Sadaam Hussein was.

Are you F' ing kidding me????
Can you imagine what we would have said if we had heard death justifications when it was Americans being killed on September the 11th? How enraged we would have been? Why do lives only matter when they are lived here?

I could more easily accept "conservative" viewpoints if they seemed to co-exist with a little human compassion or understanding.
It would be more palatable to me to feel that while I disagree with them...at least they see and accept that there are difficult gray areas that are not justly served by one-liners or pretending that they don't exist. This example of Iraq is only one of countless issues that I feel are trivialized by a hard line unwillingness on the part of most conservatives to even recognize that there are valid and serious opposing views and answers that deserve consideration.

Regardless of all this, I have always found you to be thoughtful and for that, while I don't always agree with you, I appreciate and respect your viewpoints.

And regardless of what any of those libs in your family might say....
You ain't no dummy.

I leave you with what I consider to be a chilling comment from a chilling person when describing how to handle issues involving national "discussions" about war and public relations. It is comments like these that demand vigilance and a loyal opposition.....to make sure that human disasters like these don't happen again.

"Of course the people don't want war.
But after all, it's the leaders of the country who determine the policy, and it's always a simple matter to drag the people along whether it's a democracy, a fascist dictatorship, or a parliament, or a communist dictatorship.
Voice or no voice, the people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. That is easy.
All you have to do is tell them they are being attacked, and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism, and exposing the country to greater danger."

-- Herman Goering at the Nuremberg trials

Fooling Yourself

2004-10-26T10:26:00.000-04:00

Before you pull the "W" lever and do your part to destroy our country, consider this simple quote from a writer of fiction, acknowledge that art truly does imitate life and then if you can.....proceed to bludgeon America for another four years.

"So we reach into the raging chaos and we pluck some small glittering thing, and we cling to it, and tell ourselves it has meaning, and that the world is good, and we are not evil." A. Rice

Political Translation: How Dubya justifies his presidency, his failure to bring Bin Laden to justice and the smokescreen of Iraq.

I Report, You Decide.....

2004-10-22T13:33:00.000-04:00

The Blind Leading the Blind

Even if they don't like to say it out loud, lots of Democrats think that George Bush's supporters are a horde of ignoramuses. Now comes evidence that they're right! A remarkable new report, titled "The Separate Realities of Bush and Kerry Supporters," from PIPA, the Program on International Policy Attitudes at the University of Maryland, suggests that rank and file Republicans are more benighted than even the most supercilious coastal elitist would imagine.

Analyzing data from a series of nationwide polls, the report finds that a majority of Bush supporters believe things about the world that are objectively untrue, while the majority of Kerry supporters dwell in the reality-based community. For example, Bush backers largely think that the president and his policies are popular internationally. Seventy-five percent believe that Iraq was providing "substantial" aid to al-Qaida, and 63 percent say clear evidence of this has been found. That, of course, would be news even to Donald Rumsfeld, who earlier this month told the Council on Foreign Relations, "To my knowledge, I have not seen any strong, hard evidence that links the two."

Though its language is dispassionate, the report lays responsibility for this epidemic of ignorance at the White House's door. "So why are Bush supporters clinging so tightly to these beliefs in the face of repeated disconfirmations?" it asks. "Apparently one key reason is that they continue to hear the Bush administration confirming these beliefs."

Indeed, it says, "an overwhelming 82% [of Bush supporters] perceive the Bush administration as saying that Iraq had WMD (63%) or a major WMD program (19%). Only 16% of Bush supporters perceive the administration as saying that Iraq had some limited activities, but not an active program (15%) or had nothing (1%). The pattern on al Qaeda is similar. Seventy-five percent of Bush supporters think the Bush administration is currently saying Iraq was providing substantial support to al Qaeda (56%) or even that it was directly involved in 9/11 (19%). Further, 55% of Bush supporters say it is their impression the Bush administration is currently saying the US has found clear evidence Saddam Hussein was working closely with al Qaeda (not saying clear evidence found: 37%)."

These people aren't going to be swayed by the argument that Bush has alienated America's allies and left the country isolated in the world, because they don't believe this to be the case. "Despite a steady flow of official statements, public demonstrations, and public opinion polls showing that the US war against Iraq is quite unpopular, only 31% of Bush supporters recognize that the majority of people in the world oppose the US having gone to war with Iraq," the study says. Bush supporters also think that world public opinion favors Bush's reelection. In a poll taken from Sept. 3-7, the study says, "57% of Bush supporters assumed that the majority of people in the world would prefer to see Bush reelected, 33% assumed that views are evenly divided and only 9% assumed that Kerry would be preferred."

In fact, a PIPA study released in early September found that a majority or plurality of people from 32 countries preferred Kerry to Bush. PIPA surveyed 34,330 people, ages 15 and above, from regions all over the world. A Pew poll released this spring similarly found that "large majorities in every country, except for the U.S., hold an unfavorable opinion of Bush."

Bush supporters are also mistaken about the president's own positions (a pattern of misapprehension that an earlier PIPA report also documented). "Majorities incorrectly assumed that Bush supports multilateral approaches to various international issues -- the Comprehensive Test Ban Treaty (69%), the treaty banning land mines (72%); 51% incorrectly assumed he favors US participation in the Kyoto treaty -- the principal international accord on global warming ... Only 13% of supporters are aware that he opposes labor and environmental standards in trade agreements -- 74% incorrectly believe that he favors including labor and environmental standards in agreements on trade. In all these cases, there is a recurring theme: majorities of Bush supporters favor these positions, and they infer that Bush favors them as well."

According to the report, this reality gap is something new in American life. "So why do Bush supporters show such a resistance to accepting dissonant information?" it asks. "While it is normal for people to show some resistance, the magnitude of the denial goes beyond the ordinary. Bush supporters have succeeded in suppressing awareness of the findings of a whole series of high-profile reports about prewar Iraq that have been blazoned across the headlines of newspapers and prompted extensive, high-profile and agonizing reflection. The fact that a large portion of Americans say they are unaware that the original reasons that the US took military action -- and for which Americans continue to die on a daily basis -- are not turning out to be valid, are probably not due to a simple failure to pay attention to the news."

The analysis says that the roots of this denial could lie in the trauma of 9/11 and people's desire to hold on to their image of Bush as a "capable protector." It offers no guidance, though, on how ordinary Republicans might be coaxed back to reality.

And while "The Separate Realities of Bush and Kerry Supporters" may be perversely satisfying to Democrats in its confirmation of blue-state prejudices, it carries a pretty disturbing question for all rational Americans: How can arguments based on fact prevail in a nation where so many people know so little?

By Salon.Com

and we wonder where he gets it from.......

2004-10-19T11:36:00.000-04:00

Barbara Bush: "Why should we hear about body bags and deaths. Oh, I mean, it's not relevant. So why should I waste my beautiful mind on something like that?"- Barbara Bush on ABC's "Good Morning America" on March 18, 2003.

If an honest assessment of Bush's presidency wandered into the mind of the rightwing faithful and nobody heard the echo.....

Did it really happen?

Lefty: A Life Left Living

2004-10-13T17:52:00.000-04:00

Commonly recited quote by rightwingers:

"Those who were young and not liberal never had a heart, those whom are old and not conservative never had a brain."

This started as my response on another blog and then I figured I might as well post it here. My editors are now reviewing it for late inclusion in the long awaited book.

Lefty: A Life Left Living

Ah...you silly right wingers! If i hear that quote about being "young and liberal" one more time I'm going to puke. Don't use a quote to make yourselves feel all cuddly and good about the fact that you're heartless and afraid.
I was a conservative when I was young...influenced by family and church......believed all the hype during the Reagan years but found as time passed that it didn't all add up. The more I looked at the party, its platform and its values....the more I became convinced that this was a party that cared purely for those that "have" in society and every single interest that they put forth is subject to that group, or as Dubya likes to say, "his base". The ironic thing is that while I am not religious as I used to be, I find that the Republicans cater to about 3 issues that Christians would care about and turn away from the whole "Sermon on the Mount" view that Jesus had. Yet they lay claim to most evangelicals because they are against gays, abortion and desperately want to pray in school.
I believe that as I grew and experienced life I craved having BOTH a heart and a brain and as a result...I walk just to the left of center.
I work hard, value those that do and do not expect to be handed anything. I do believe in giving people a hand up when the means are there......a hand up that demands work and accountability.
I believe in last chances and that you can go to far....I wouldn't forgive a murderer or a terrorist because of their rough childhood or someone who claimed to want assistance and then proved that all they really wanted was a handout.
I believe in equality, in equal funding for schools and for the right to live your life without government interference.
I do not believe in corportate welfare and I do not believe that a hand up means pulling people from the penthouse into their private helicopter waiting for them on their rooftop helipad.
I am on the side of business and especially small businesses but not on the side of giving them breaks or help at the expense of the middle or lower class that do not have equal "breaks" available to them.
I believe that morals or family values mean more than not wanting gays to marry or being against bad rap lyrics.
I believe that as a nation that has worked for much, earned much and been greatly blessed, that we are and will be measured by how the least among us live.
I am not talking about welfare.
I am talking about points of opportunity.

I do not believe that the rich are evil.
I aspire to be rich.
I'd just like to think that if I lived in a nation and under a system that provides me with the fundamentals of leading a productive and enjoyable life that I would be willing to pay my share. A share that does not imply socialism or that everyone lives off my back but a share that says, thank you America for helping me....here's a little bit back to help the next guy.
Not scurrying around trying to find ways to protect myself at the expense of those in the middle class.

I do not believe there needs to be a government program for everything.
I don't believe that money and moneyed interests should control everything either.

I don't believe that Democrats have the right answers for everything but I do believe that there is a little bit more "we" and a little bit less "me" on the left side.
Which is kinda funny because the only time I ever hear a Republican promoting unity is when they don't want a war criticized and when they don't want "class warfare" meaning, don't try to go after rich people's money.
They don't talk equality when it comes to economics, schools, government sponsored tax breaks or those who are working hard to climb the ladder.

Of course, you don't have to believe or care about any of this....but do me one favor.
Can it on the "young and liberal" quote

I'm Not Saying He's Wired...

2004-10-11T10:51:00.000-04:00

I'm not backing the theory or promoting it.
I'm certainly not concerned about it and for the most part find it very amusing.
Why you say??
Well....because even if he WAS wired, he still LOST the debate which would be just priceless.....except for the fact....

That I don't actually believe he was wired.

However, the photos show a boxy lump on his back and this deserves a little pondering.
I mean, I haven't checked the photo source so for all I know it could be nothing more than a little photoshop work done by a prankster.
OR.....
or what? is the question...

If it's not photoshop and it's not a wire then what is it?
I open the floor to your suggestions and am proud to announce that for the first time here at the home of "Think Like Me" we are offering a prize for the funniest answer to the question.
The winner will take home a lovely 1 dollar bill courtesy of Leftyjones.
That's right...one whole dollar.
All you have to do is make me laugh harder than anyone else does.

My opening suggestion is that the lump is merely where Dubya keeps his "Brian Coolant System" After a few minutes of hard thinking and concentrating on not saying words like "Nuke-u- lar" a brain can get mighty warm...the cooling system sends some chiily water through the pipes and helps him NOT make faces like he did at the first debate when he forgot to wear his brain pack.

Your ideas?

Great Quote of the Day

2004-10-07T11:43:00.000-04:00

“The only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn, like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars...” - Jack Kerouac

Score: Lefty 1, "W" 0

2004-10-06T13:45:00.000-04:00

After reading what sounded like a missing persons report over on Blonde Pompousity's page, I realized I'd better get back out here.
After all, it's much better to be hated than to be forgotten...
Anyway...truth is...I've been a bit pre-occupied lately on sorting some things out and here's the update:

As a few of you know...our hero Lefty has several places of employment.
1 of them is at a internationally respected nonprofit that helps build houses for low income working families by using volunteers to build the house. You probably have heard of us as former President Carter ( no, I haven't met him) is involved.

My other gigs are entrepeneurial ventures, (real estate/house renovations & sports/entertainment) that make up for the income that one CANNOT make at a nonprofit like mine and enable my family to do well.

And you all thought only right wingers had capitalistic plans.....

Anyway, after 3 and a half years I made the decision to leave my nonprofit job and will be wrapping things up here by mid-November. It was a tough decision to make but i felt the time had come for me to move on and try new things.
I have no doubt that I will stay involved with community ventures in the future but like at many jobs......A. There is a burn out factor and....B. At the end of the day you have to enjoy what you do.

I stopped enjoying it a while back and in the last week or two reminded myself that I never wanted to become someone who would stay at a job simply out of comfort.....so I cast myself to the winds and will see what happens.
I have been industrious enough over the last few years that I have other projects going and as a result, can afford to leave my job while looking around/ figuring out what I really want to do.
Odds are, it may well be that I stay in real estate development and simply manage more of my own restoration/rehab projects....but I figure I'll look around a bit.

Anyway.....with my walking papers now submitted and signed, I can proudly claim to have done something that "W" has not done in the last 4 years.....

I created a job opening.

I'll add that to my resume and figure that if like him, I play my cards right....I can screw around failing for the next 15 years at whatever I try and THEN run for President and win.

Ok...politics aside....these decisions over the last couple of weeks have been difficult and time consuming.
Now...the decisions are over and it's time for the fun part.
The adventurous part.
The part where we mix our sense of responsibilities with the feeling that life is out there and we can have what we want if we want it and work for it hard enough.
I'm ready to go.

How about you?

Simple Talk for Simple Folk.....

2004-09-28T11:09:00.000-04:00

I've been taking a political break lately.....and I must say I've been enjoying it.
Rather than argue, I've contributed a bit of money....looked into other areas of interest and laughed every time I heard a poll result.

The polls themselves seem to swing so far all over the place, I can't say that I trust any of them. It just isn't possible to claim any poll is "scientific" when you keep seeing the disparity between them all.
Regardless.....people will vote in November, some of the votes will be counted and we'll find out who our President is.

However, I wanted to address what a number of the polls have been indicating and talk about my fellow Americans in a simple watered down way so that most of them can understand me.
I'm even prepared to quote Kid Rock to help those of you in the double-wides get a glimpse of what I'm saying.

Sayeth the Kid Rocketh:
"you get what you put in and people get what they deserve..........."

If you look at where we are now....
two unfocused wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, soldiers...many of them national guardsmen...dying by the day in a place that never held any national security interest to our country.
An economy that stutters, spits and recoils for four years straight.
Healthcare soaring.
New terrorist groups forming everyday to kill Americans or any westerner they can kidnap in the middle east. ( "W" stands for "we-cwoot-ment" for terror groups)
$50 a barrel for oil and rising.
Armed forces that need to be expanded and an administration that won't admit to what's coming.
Constitutional tinkering.....
.....privacy being eaten away at by corporations and the government
New York City and Washington being attacked and our response....to attack a country that wasn't even connected because we were having trouble finding Bin laden in the mountains....

If we as a country can overwhelmingly claim that we are not happy where we're headed or with where the President has us now and we re-elect him.......
We'll get everything we deserve in the next four years.

Every damn thing we deserve.
And if you vote for him......be prepared to accept the blame.
Of course....Double-wide America likes a plain speaking guy....a guy who sticks to what he believes and does not deviate, even if what he believes is that the world is flat.
Yup....a man who understands the "high Life" and can crack open a can of Miller and sit around flat-u-latin' with the boys.

Hehe.....yup, Kid Rock has it right....

You get what you put in, and people get what they deserve..........

Land of the Free???

2004-09-23T15:12:00.000-04:00

Welcome to another miserable development in the ever-changing reality of what it means to elect a President in America.

On the other hand, we do have consensus between parties. Bi-Partisan Bullshit my friends...and it's heaping up high!

Oh....you're wondering what I'm talking about?

Did you catch the little news story on the upcoming Presidential debates and the "rules" that have been agreed on upon by the parties?

Not only have they always been interested in making sure that they were the only two voices at the table....but this time, they wanted to go to much greater lengths to control what they had to talk to the public about.

This, by the way, includes censoring all of the so-called "Town Hall" questions into pre-approved questions and cutting off any individual who attempts to ask a non-screened question.
They also now demanded to control who could be in the audience.
No longer can an "undecided" be part of the process...you have to be leaning one way or the other or you don't get to be part of the show.

Vomitous. Disgusting.
We are supposedly fighting not only for ourselves but for the right of the Iraqi people to have free and fair elections.....to live under a democracy.
Meanwhile, our own homegrown politicians are negotiating away the right of independent Americans to ask them a simple question that wasn't approved in advance.
Is this what we're coming to?

What will it take for us to say, "ENOUGH"

Or will we as a nation simply allow it to happen...saying ( to quote Frater)
"placidly we watch........"

Read the excerpt of the article below if you want to see it for yourselves and click the link to find out more about this.

The founding fathers would spit on them both.

From the NY Times: September 22, 2004

"The agreement includes four pages of provisions - up from one in 2000 - about the town-hall-style debate, including a requirement that the moderator, Charles Gibson, present to the campaigns by Oct. 1 a question-selection method. Mr. Gibson is to ensure that the audience members pose equal numbers of questions on foreign policy, domestic security and other domestic issues; alternate the candidates to whom their queries are directed; and not alter their pre-selected questions on the fly.

Instead of the "uncommitted" voters typically invited to such events, the auditorium is to be filled with those identified by the Gallup polling organization as leaning toward but not firmly committed to Mr. Bush and Mr. Kerry, and Mr. Gibson would have to call on the same number of people from each side.

"If any audience member poses a question or makes a statement that is in any material way different than the question that the audience member earlier submitted to the moderator for review, the moderator will cut off the questioner and advise the audience that such nonreviewed questions are not permitted," the agreement reads.

http://www.nytimes.com/2004/09/22/politics/campaign/22debates.html

On the lighter side.....

2004-09-21T16:33:00.000-04:00

On a day where the news is a bit uglier than usual...
Our hero, Lefty, went digging and found you this.

CNN
Town overrun with old people on scooters

PAINTSVILLE, Kentucky (AP) -- Stricken with arthritis, Connie Haller gave up strolling the streets of this mountain town. But when the 78-year-old woman learned that the government would buy her a motorized scooter, she gladly accepted. And so did her elderly friends. And their friends. And their friends.

Now, this town of 4,000 in Kentucky's coalfields is seemingly overrun with scooter riders.

Scores of scooters and motorized wheelchairs plod along busy streets to the Wal-Mart, restaurants and beauty salons. Motorists complain that they snarl traffic, and the gray-haired riders fret about the dangers of sharing the asphalt with cars and trucks.

Mayor Doug Pugh believes the government helped create the problem and should help pay for the sidewalks that would solve it.

"It would be a lot safer," Pugh said. "These aren't like little motorcycles -- they shouldn't have to be on the roads."

Paintsville officials are not sure exactly how many people in town have scooters. But Haller said she knows of at least 50 in her apartment building alone.

"It's been a lifesaver for me, and for many others," she said. "We ride our buggies everywhere."

This Appalachian region some 60 miles south of Huntington, West Virginia, has long had high numbers of disabled residents, many of whom worked in the mining and logging industries.

Paintsville's plight also reflects a government-subsidized explosion in the use of scooters, which cost $5,000 or more, depending on accessories. Medicare, the federal health care program for 40 million older and disabled people, said claims for scooters and power wheelchairs have increased from 62,000 in 1999 to 168,000 in 2003. Medicare payments for the devices rose from $22.3 million in 1995 to $666.5 million in 2003.

"We get letters all the time from people who tell us that they've been to the mailbox for the first time in years, that they're able to go back to church," said Dan Gibbens, spokesman for the Texas-based Scooter Store, a major supplier of power scooters and wheelchairs. "They're able to turn the clock back several years."

Gibbens said the devices typically move at the same speed the average person walks, or 3 to 4 mph. He said that makes them appropriate for calm residential streets, but not for busy roads and highways.

In Paintsville, the problem is that the town's sidewalks were not built with motorized scooters in mind, and some of the roads most heavily traveled by scooters do not have sidewalks. That means the elderly and disabled have to ride either on the pavement or along the gravel shoulders.

"You look up and see big trucks passing," Haller said. "I feel like they get pretty close to us. You've got to keep your eyes on the road and on the people, especially at intersections. If they don't offer to wave you across, you'd better sit still and wait your turn."

So far, 47-year-old Vickie Whittaker has been the only scooter rider hurt in traffic. Already disabled by degenerative discs in her spine, Whittaker suffered minor injuries after being bumped by a car earlier this summer.

Elderly and disabled residents have been circulating a petition to get a quarter-mile walkway built from the town's residential area to the shopping district so that they do not have to ride on the shoulder of Kentucky Route 321, a busy road lined with stores and restaurants.

The mayor has promised to do his best to get the walkway built and said he believes it could be done for $250,000, perhaps with the use of an existing federal grant.

Whittaker said if elected officials do not move quickly to build the walkway, they could find themselves opposed by a dedicated bloc of voters who will gladly ride their scooters to the polls.

"Obviously, they don't care if we get where we're going or if we get killed going there," she said.

Neo: a profile

2004-09-16T16:26:00.000-04:00

Went searching the profiles today.
Figured I'd cheat on all of you and look outside our group
for a "little action"

Guess what?
It mostly sucks out there.
Seems like our group of pissy little warmakers is about as good as it gets.
Sure there are a few funny sites but most are LONELY.

Have you seen these sites?
No one comments.....ever!
Sheesh, it's depressing.

Anyway, I did find one thing I wanted to share with you all.
The Uber Republican Profile.
He thinks his name is Neo, I think his name should be,
Mr. RNC poster boy.
Have a look at his profile pasted below...then, let's analyze.

About Me:
Not quite a geek; I suck at playing all manner of video games. I found a "war penny" in the office my dad used for nearly all of my life that I was cleaning out after he finally retired.

I was part of the group blog Amish Tech Support, but I hardly post anything as I never have much to say. I don't go out anymore, don't have anyone to go with. I don't have dreams anymore, don't have any talent to make them real.

Being a grown up really sucks for 99% of the people - woulda been nice to know this ahead of time. Looking at my movie list, you can tell I spend a lot of time watching IFC and Sundance (but I am so not a spineless liberal).

All of the phone numbers have fallen out of your address book. Whose number do you look for first and why?
My wife's number. Because I can't remember a damn thing and she is about the only person I ever call. I hate using a phone. Maybe I just hate people.

Interests
Computers movies SciFi Photography Videography Cinema UFOs Ghosts Macs Benny Hill White women Conservatives

Ah.....the Republican everyman! Likes white women, UFO's and some Benny Hill.
He's pretty lonely.....make that VERY lonely and he pretty much hates everyone.
However, we are comforted to know that he is " so NOT a spineless liberal"
Whew (wiping sweat off brow).....I was worried!

This is the man who will vote for George Bush. This is the man that will help about 50% of the electorate in their effort to ruin our country.
This man's vote is equal to mine.

Christ......Being a Dark Imperial Overlord does NOT have the fringe benefits that it used to!
I would have smited....would have smitten....would engage in the smitation of men like these and their feeble little votes in the past.
But nooooooooo.....now we have this lowest common denominator democracy crap!
Arrrrrgghhhhhh!

I'm off to the super hero review board. I have to check on these so called powers of mine and request an upgrade.
There is Smiting to be Done!!!!!!!!!!
( dark cloudburst and Lefty is gone.................)

My Gift to You

2004-09-16T14:53:00.000-04:00

Apparently,
a number of our friends on the right are now putting forth the theory
that the Clintons are at it again.

It seems that Big Bad Bill probably "knew" about his heart problem but timed his surgery in an effort to keep Hillary off the campaign trail.

As if Hillary campaigning would be the deciding factor in the election.

I wonder if they'll start a 527 group?

Maybe call themselves, "Myocardial Infarction theorists for Truth"...
kinda catchy....

anyway, as I've stated earlier, every GOOD conspiracy theory has a black helicopter or an alien in it.....so, allow me to help.

Breaking News:
Look closely at the picture and you'll notice that inside the helicopter is a heart surgeon and all the lab equipment necessary to check for heart blockage. This helicopter is landing on an open patch of land in West Chester, New York and in just minutes after this picture was taken, a black Limo transporting Clinton pulled up and the former president jumped in for heart tests.

He was seen exiting the helicopter, all smiles and talking into a cell phone.
Lip reading specialists decoded his conversation as saying,
" Hillary, great news, I gotta bad ticker and it will get you off the campaign trail...."

You heard it here first on the "Sludge Report"

I don't know about I-da-ho.....

2004-09-14T13:08:00.000-04:00

Ah yes. Another delightful state in the Red column.
Idaho.

I'm not sure exactly why this territory was actually given statehood, or electoral votes for that matter but I'm going to assume that we needed the potato-E's badly.

Anyway.....there isn't much to tell you about Idaho that you wouldn't guess.
Lots of parks.
Lots of militia groups.
Lots of "white power groups"
Lots of fascist sympathizers

and surprise.....lots of Republican votes!

here are the facts you wouldn't guess:

Elk River is the home of the Idaho Champion Western Red Cedar Tree, the largest tree in the state. Estimated to be over 3000 years old this giant is more than 18 feet in diameter and stands 177 feet tall.

In Idaho law forbids a citizen to give another citizen a box of candy that weighs more than 50 pounds.

The city of Grace in the Gem Valley is most famous for their certified seed potatoes.

Bruneau Dunes State Park contains North America's tallest single structured sand dune. It stands 470 feet high.

Hell's Canyon is the deepest gorge in America.

Soda Springs boasts the largest man-made geyser in the world.

Lewiston is located at the confluence of the Snake and Clearwater Rivers. The elevation is 738 feet above sea level.

Under Idaho law only two forms of city government are allowed: a mayor/councilor or a council/manager form.

Weiser is Home of the National Old Time Fiddlers Contest.

Whew. Riveting stuff.

I suppose it's possible that Idaho students have high test scores, as was championed about the Wyomingalings....
My first response to that would be....you damn well should!
Outside of Militia shoot outs and White Power Pow-wow's there isn't much else to do but study.
My second response is who exactly are you being measured against...Wyomingalings?

4 votes...solidly in the Bush column.
Can't confuse Idahonians....they know a good fascist when they see one!

Super Bowl or the Presidency??

2004-09-13T13:51:00.000-04:00

I love to win.
love it. love it. love it.

So.....I got to thinking yesterday about choices.
Choices like....If I could make some kind of Faustian bargain that would allow me to see the Eagles win the Super Bowl or allow Kerry to become President....but only ONE could happen.....which would I choose?

To most of you around the country or world, the choice would seem easy...choose the presidential candidate. After all....sports are only sports.
Well, to that, my answer would be, you don't live in Philadelphia.

It's a town that has an obsessive love of sport that is matched by an uncanny ability to never win the big game.
The obsession grows larger as the years pass.
It's been 21 years since any of our 4 major sports teams have won a championship.
That's 84 seasons of futility.

For the sake of the region and the truly devoted, I'd be tempted to choose the Super Bowl if I had that deal to make.
I'd look at it as going out in a blaze of glory because another 4 years of Bush will probably result in the ruination of us all.
So....if you're gonna go...go with a smile! right?

Or, I could choose to save America and choose Kerry...sure the region would suffer but humanity would have a chance.

Man it's a tough decision.
I really want that damn Super Bowl.

Of course...I realize that this Faustian deal cannot come to pass anyway.
Not because the a deal with the devil couldn't be made, mind you.....
but rather because Mr. Bush quite possibly IS the devil and I couldn't trust that the deal I was making would have any merit.
I mean, sure he might promise me the Super Bowl.....but then he also claimed to be compassionate 4 years ago and we know what a crock that was.

Nope, it looks like the football team is on their own for now.
Or at least until we can get concrete evidence that the devil does not reside IN the White House.

Florida: Extremely Unlucky or Being Punished by God?

2004-09-10T14:34:00.000-04:00

We were going to travel to Idaho today and talk about the potato folk up there but we felt that in light of recent events....we needed to re-route the group and visit the Red state of Florida.

Ah.....demon Florida.
The state responsible for this mess.
Evil, evil state.

It kind of looks now like it's time to pay the piper...
And his name is IVAN.

Now before all of you start howling about how cruel, and insensitive I am, I want you to hear me through.
It has been said that America is a Christian country, founded on Christian principles and when it is said, it is often by some blowhard on the right who is trying to pass a constitutional amendment.....
But I digress.

Anyway, my good Christian friends.
As any of us that grew up studying the Bible can recall,
the Lord often sends nasty, bitchin', house wrecking phenomenom down on those who have done the wrong thing.
or as the Right Reverend's often say, "to punish their wickedness"

We've seen the world smashed by flood.
Sodom and Gomorrah by fire and brimstone.
Egypt by a whole boatload of plagues and nastiness.

No one questions the righteous punishment in those events.....sooooo, you may just consider the cheatyface, wicked liars of Florida before dismissing that vengence is afoot.

Twice now the storms have come a'pounding but do the Bush boys repent?????

Noooooooooo. of course not.
And now millions of innocent trailer homes have to be flipped around like beach balls.
It just doesn't seem right.
Just a little contrition..... a little repentance and this could all go away.
And now here comes Ivan the terrible and the Bush boys still do not show any humility.
sigh.....pride goeth before the flood.
Now, lest any of you think me heartless. I sincerely do not want to see one person in Florida harmed....one voting booth ruined....or even one palm tree felled.
I have family there myself and while they voted for the evil twins, I still love them and wish them happiness, safety and the loss of their voting privileges.
I know that this storm can be averted and that the people of Florida can have a chance at redemption.
It's not too late.
All George and Jeb have to do is thaw out their frozen hearts and apologize to God and man and all can be saved.
Or they can not and they can add the ruin of Florida to their list of things accomplished. ( Which is a fairly short list as they do not actually accomplish most of their missions).

I just hope that my Republican friends will join me in hoping that the Bush boys do not test God this one last time.
After all, in the Old Testament, when God's ticked off....he doesn't lose a staredown, not even with a drugstore cowboy.

Let's Go to the Map

2004-09-09T16:28:00.000-04:00

Ah Wyoming!!!!

Home of....hmmm
The Birthplace of......'come on brain...think!

Oh nevermind. The Point is that Wyoming never gets to be first at anything so today I thought we would start our tour of the "red states" in an efort to get to know the people who are trying to ruin our country a little better.

So, here are a couple of facts for you:
1.Wyoming's license plates feature a man on a bucking bronco
2.Wyoming has the lowest population of all 50 United States
3.The first Dude Ranch in Wyoming was the Eaton Ranch, near Wolf. The Eaton's also came up with the term "dude"
4.The Horse on the Wyoming license plate has a name, "Old Steamboat". It is named after a bronc that could not be ridden back in the oughts or the teens.
******* oohhhhhh....FASCINATING!
5.Wyoming was the first state to give women the right to vote

Well there you go...Women got the right to vote first in Wyoming. Damn Progressive state that Wyoming!

Wyoming lays claim to a few famous people but it turns out most weren't born there.
Even VP Dick Cheney....was born in Nebraska but Wyominglings thing of him as their own.

33% of Wyominglings are considered low income
38% are uninsured or use Medicaid or Medicare as their providers
92% are white and less than 2,500 black people live in the state
69% voted for "W" for President
0 % for the number of places in the state that are considered a terror target

Most terrorists don't probably even know Wyoming exists. Unfortunately, I do.

and that's why folks, I've decided to make Wyoming a "first" once again and declare that before I blame anyone else, I will look to Wyominglings and say,

" I blame you for trying to ruin my country" unless of course, Bush wins, in which case I will say,

" I blame you for ruining this country! You Wyominglings with your...your...your lots of nothingness and your nowhere'sville, you people are the number one thing that sucks about Wyoming"

Of course, I'll phone that in because I could drive around Wyoming for DAYS before stumbling onto one of their trailer parks.

Next Stop: Idaho

Blog Jail

2004-09-08T19:23:00.000-04:00

I have been able to read but not post for over 18 hours now.
No one's sight that I visited had comments posted from anytime today....
I had logged on from 3 different computers in three different locations to no avail.
Suddenly, I can get back on and it looks as though no one else missed a beat.
Was I alone in my imprisonment?

Is the right wing now censoring me and keeping me "off the air"?

Is this truly the beginnings of Lefty vs. The Vast Right Wing Conspiracy?

Or was the frigging blogger broken and everyone else had the same problem?

Broken Blogger??

2004-09-08T09:27:00.000-04:00

Anyone else had trouble posting?

Seems like the "comments" feature has been down since sometime last night.

Of course....if it's not fixed you won't be able to respomd to me, which basically makes my original question moot.

Dark Imperial Overlord

2004-09-07T14:05:00.000-04:00

I knew the day would come!
They finally put out the action figure of me.

of course....this was in my "clubbing days" before I got more sophisticated.
But for a toy......

I think it captures the sheer will to power that is me.

Of course, once the Zell Mussolini doll comes out I may have some competition....but I'm willing to take him on in a duel.
Anytime.

Sounds of Silence

2004-09-07T09:47:00.000-04:00

Junction City

2004-09-06T23:11:00.000-04:00

There ain't much of a difference
between a bridge and a wall
Without me right in the middle,
you would be nothing at all.

Campaign Tactics

2004-09-05T11:39:00.000-04:00

"Of course the people don't want war.
But after all, it's the leaders of the country who determine the policy, and it's always a simple matter to drag the people along whether it's a democracy, a fascist dictatorship, or a parliament, or a communist dictatorship.
Voice or no voice, the people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. That is easy.
All you have to do is tell them they are being attacked, and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism, and exposing the country to greater danger."

-- Herman Goering at the Nuremberg trials

Admit it, it's funny!

2004-09-03T13:54:00.000-04:00

It's a lighthearted funny picture....no matter where you stand.

Wake me when he's over.....

2004-09-03T10:15:00.000-04:00

Yes son, that's the way we all felt.

Just Sign the Papers.......

2004-09-02T13:42:00.000-04:00

I was going to write this last night.
I'm glad I waited.
I probably wouldn't have enjoyed anything about the tone I would have written in.
That doesn't mean the rage has subsided.
It simply means I am capable of being more measured in my tone and that I have been able to think honestly about how I feel and hopefully, to be fair to those I disagree with.

I have spent the last few days attempting to have some fun.
Finding funny pictures, generally joking around, watching the Republican convention til' my stomach turned.
Last night, I almost didn't turn it on and I'm not sure at this moment if I am glad or angry that I did.

I woke my wife up from a nap and settled in as Zell Miller began whipping up the flock with what I can only characterize as the most hateful and the saddest speech I have seen in my years of watching the political process.
Sad that a man would end his career choking on bitterness.
Hateful lies and speech will be all he is remembered for when the years pass.
Google Zell Miller.....click Images....and see the photos of this man.
He looks the way we have come to expect a Senator to, for better or worse. Healthy, happy, grandfatherly and decent.
The bile dripping from his chin and the Fuhrer like anger and twisted face, the kind of twisting that only comes from hate, was almost shocking, was sad and was infuriating.
I kept thinking to myself that the speech was a dream come true for Democrats because this man showed the true face of the Republican party....with the curtain pulled away. I snickered over his Monty Burns like expressions and looked forward to the way this will be used over the next two months.
Nobody thinks of this guy as a Democrat except for republicans and as the petty glee over his speech subsides....please do understand he's been alone a long time. No one is coming with him.
I imagined Karl Rove looking like he ate a lemon as he stared at the monitor thinking, "we wanted tough talk, we didn't want to look like a pack of vipers"
Well you did.
We'll see how it plays out.

The anger didn't hit me until the middle of the Cheney speech.
Not because of anything DICK said because he could barely coax a healthy man to keep breathing.
No....it was the crowd.
The sea of fat, pasty faces....convulsing like snake handlers...eyes rolling back with hateful glee........ as the easy to understand one liners were served to the faithful flock.

It was a weird moment to have an old song flashback...to have lyrics fly into my head.
Especially because the song itself didn't seem relevant...being that it had to do with a breakup...a relationship gone bad.
The song sang......." ...because, you don't think about anything I think about"

Another moment of two of sweaty convulsive people and I turned to my wife and said something that even I...later last night....was surprised by.

Simply put. I said.
" I hate those people. I don't want to live with them anymore."
simple. concise. It was like when you finally realized you wanted to break up with someone after knowing you should have a long time ago and it came into your head as a crystal clear bolt of lightning.
But I guess I wasn't done.

I'm not a very reactionary person normally and this might explain why my wife was looking at me a bit stunned. She said, " in all of our years together I have never heard you firstly.....say that you hated them. and secondly that you don't want to live with them.

I didn't take it back.
Instead I upped the ante.
I said, you know.....I do hate them. I don't want to live with them.
And....I"M NOT LEAVING!

I not only wanted the divorce, I wanted to keep the house.
I'm not one of these people who wants to run away from the hateful bastards....I'd rather fight them hand to hand, here on the streets if I have to.
For maybe the only moment of my political life.......I did not separate myself from the situation and try to see both sides.
I only saw what I wanted. What I demanded. And I wanted to eliminate whatever stood in the way of what I thought would make this country great again.
In short....
I became a Republican.

As the demon left my body and a calmer head prevailed, I began to understand why the left does not win more often in the national conversation.
It's because hate is more infectious than being measured and calm.
It's because looking out for yourself is easier than giving a shit about anyone else.
Its because preaching fear captivates in a way that preaching true freedom does not.
It's because if one side believes in no compromise and that there is only one way to go, the side that values viewpoints will always have more division. It's a product of having different people at the table.
Its because soundbites are the meal of the day and facts and reason take too long......

I took my daughter to the park this morning and while we played I noticed the people around me. Grandmothers, babysitters, moms, a couple dads and all of these beautiful children who just wanted to play.
You could just see the "life" eminating from them. They were so happy. So real. So alive.
Their parents are probably pretty reflective of society, different views, religions, incomes, political parties and I was reminded in a powerful way that
they DO,............ "Think about, anything I think about"
and that there are many common interests that we do all share. I thought about the Republican friends and family members that I have and that I care about and I was again reminded of the similarities.
I smiled to myself and thought.........

...........That it doesn't change a thing. I don't want to live with you anymore.
Because I don't want to live under a political theory that teaches hate, preaches fear and rewards greed.
I'd love to chat by phone. Visit on holidays....comment on each others blogs even but I'm afraid I'd like you to move out and take your hateful baggage with you.
You do deserve to live the way that you choose and under a system that works for you.

So do I and at least 50% of the other people around this land.
Our similarities are strong but I'm beginning to believe that our differences may be stronger and I just don't know that it's fair to either of us to put the other through this.
I mean, why would you want us to stay??? You hate what we value to the point of treating anyone on the left as an actual enemy. What good are you getting out of this relationship?
Do you want to stay together simply because of our combined assets?
Certainly you believe that you could do just as well without us.
Is it because you're so afraid of attack?
You think people on the left are cowards anyway. What good would we be?
Is it because you wouldn't really have any cities to visit anymore as they certainly would go with me?
Hey, this is a LAND OF OPPORTUNITY, you'll figure it out.
Let's agree to be amicable and sit down and discuss a fair division of property.

You deserve a chance to be happy on your own terms.

So do I.

Let's not point the finger and yell at each other. Let's agree to be friends and walk away.

I love you.....but I don't need you.
Let's just let it go at that.

Now get packing.

Separated at Birth??

2004-09-01T12:12:00.000-04:00

Was Laura Bush previously employed as "The Joker" of the television series, Batman or does she just bear a striking resmblance to Cesar Romero??

Is this relevant to the campaign?.............No.
But if you give a speech loaded with enough saccharin to kill a lab rat does it at least open you up for some light jabbing?? Yes it does.

I said," I don't think we can win the war on terror" BEFORE I said, "We will win the war on terror"

2004-08-31T16:37:00.000-04:00

Of course, I also MOCKED "sensitive war" before I waged "sensitive war" in Najaf and let Al-Sadr go.

Of course, there are many, many more......here are just a few:

From:

www.Independentsforkerry.org

George Bush Flip Flops on the Issues
From the beginning, George W. Bush has made his own credibility a central issue. On 10/11/00, then Governor Bush said: "I think credibility is important. It is going to be important for the president to be credible with Congress, important for the president to be credible with foreign nations."

Compare those words with his actions...

1. OPEC
BUSH PROMISES TO FORCE OPEC TO LOWER PRICES..."What I think the president ought to do [when gas prices spike] is he ought to get on the phone with the OPEC cartel and say we expect you to open your spigots...And the president of the United States must jawbone OPEC members to lower the price." [President Bush, 1/26/00]

...BUSH REFUSES TO LOBBY OPEC LEADERS With gas prices soaring in the United States at the beginning of 2004, the Miami Herald reported the president refused to "personally lobby oil cartel leaders to change their minds." [Miami Herald, 4/1/04]

2. Iraq Funding
BUSH SPOKESMAN DENIES NEED FOR ADDITIONAL FUNDS FOR THE REST OF 2004..."We do not anticipate requesting supplemental funding for '04." [White House Budget Director Joshua Bolton, 2/2/04]

...BUSH REQUESTS ADDITIONAL FUNDS FOR IRAQ FOR 2004 "I am requesting that Congress establish a $25 billion contingency reserve fund for the coming fiscal year to meet all commitments to our troops." [President Bush, Statement by President, 5/5/04]

3. Condoleeza Rice Testimony
BUSH SPOKESMAN SAYS RICE WON'T TESTIFY AS 'A MATTER OF PRINCIPLE'..."Again, this is not her personal preference; this goes back to a matter of principle. There is a separation of powers issue involved here. Historically, White House staffers do not testify before legislative bodies. So it's a matter of principle, not a matter of preference." [White House Press Secretary Scott Mcclellan, 3/9/04]

...BUSH ORDERS RICE TO TESTIFY: "Today I have informed the Commission on Terrorist Attacks Against the United States that my National Security Advisor, Dr. Condoleezza Rice, will provide public testimony." [President Bush, 3/30/04]

4. Science
BUSH PLEDGES TO ISSUE REGULATIONS BASED ON SCIENCE..."I think we ought to have high standards set by agencies that rely upon science, not by what may feel good or what sounds good." [then-Governor George W. Bush, 1/15/00]

...BUSH ADMINISTRATION REGULATIONS IGNORE SCIENCE "60 leading scientists‹including Nobel laureates, leading medical experts, former federal agency directors and university chairs and presidents‹issued a statement calling for regulatory and legislative action to restore scientific integrity to federal policymaking. According to the scientists, the Bush administration has, among other abuses, suppressed and distorted scientific analysis from federal agencies, and taken actions that have undermined the quality of scientific advisory panels." [Union of Concerned Scientists, 2/18/04]

5. Ahmed Chalabi
BUSH INVITES CHALABI TO STATE OF THE UNION ADDRESS...President Bush also met with Chalabi during his brief trip to Iraq last Thanksgiving [White House Documents 1/20/04, 11/27/03]

...BUSH MILITARY ASSISTS IN RAID OF CHALABI'S HOUSE"U.S. soldiers raided the home of America's one-time ally Ahmad Chalabi on Thursday and seized documents and computers." [Washington Post, 5/20/04]

6. Department of Homeland Security
BUSH OPPOSES THE DEPARTMENT OF HOMELAND SECURITY..."So, creating a Cabinet office doesn't solve the problem. You still will have agencies within the federal government that have to be coordinated. So the answer is that creating a Cabinet post doesn't solve anything." [White House spokesman Ari Fleischer, 3/19/02]

...BUSH SUPPORTS THE DEPARTMENT OF HOMELAND SECURITY "So tonight, I ask the Congress to join me in creating a single, permanent department with an overriding and urgent mission: securing the homeland of America and protecting the American people." [President Bush, Address to the Nation, 6/6/02]

7. Weapons of Mass Destruction
BUSH SAYS WE FOUND THE WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION..."We found the weapons of mass destruction. We found biological laboratoriesŠfor those who say we haven't found the banned manufacturing devices or banned weapons, they're wrong, we found them." [President Bush, Interview in Poland, 5/29/03]

...BUSH SAYS WE HAVEN'T FOUND WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION "David Kay has found the capacity to produce weapons. And when David Kay goes in and says we haven't found stockpiles yet, and there's theories as to where the weapons went. They could have been destroyed during the war. Saddam and his henchmen could have destroyed them as we entered into Iraq. They could be hidden. They could have been transported to another country, and we'll find out." [President Bush, Meet the Press, 2/7/04]

8. Free Trade
BUSH SUPPORTS FREE TRADE... "I believe strongly that if we promote trade, and when we promote trade, it will help workers on both sides of this issue." [President Bush in Peru, 3/23/02]

...BUSH SUPPORTS RESTRICTIONS ON TRADE "In a decision largely driven by his political advisers, President Bush set aside his free-trade principles last year and imposed heavy tariffs on imported steel to help out struggling mills in Pennsylvania and West Virginia, two states crucial for his reelection." [Washington Post, 9/19/03]

9. Osama Bin Laden
BUSH WANTS OSAMA DEAD OR ALIVE... "I want justice. And there's an old poster out West, I recall, that says, 'Wanted: Dead or Alive.'" [President Bush, on Osama Bin Laden, 09/17/01]

...BUSH DOESN'T CARE ABOUT OSAMA ³I don't know where he is. You know, I just don't spend that much time on himŠ I truly am not that concerned about him.² [President Bush, Press Conference, 3/13/02]

10. The Environment
BUSH SUPPORTS MANDATORY CAPS ON CARBON DIOXIDE... "[If elected], Governor Bush will work toŠestablish mandatory reduction targets for emissions of four main pollutants: sulfur dioxide, nitrogen oxide, mercury and carbon dioxide." [Bush Environmental Plan, 9/29/00]

...BUSH OPPOSES MANDATORY CAPS ON CARBON DIOXIDE "I do not believe, however, that the government should impose on power plants mandatory emissions reductions for carbon dioxide, which is not a 'pollutant' under the Clean Air Act." [President Bush, Letter to Sen. Chuck Hagel (R-NE), 3/13/03]

11. WMD Commission
BUSH RESISTS AN OUTSIDE INVESTIGATION ON WMD INTELLIGENCE FAILURE... "The White House immediately turned aside the calls from Kay and many Democrats for an immediate outside investigation, seeking to head off any new wide-ranging election-year inquiry that might go beyond reports already being assembled by congressional committees and the Central Intelligence Agency." [NY Times, 1/29/04]

...BUSH SUPPORTS AN OUTSIDE INVESTIGATION ON WMD INTELLIGENCE FAILURE "Today, by executive order, I am creating an independent commission, chaired by Governor and former Senator Chuck Robb, Judge Laurence Silberman, to look at American intelligence capabilities, especially our intelligence about weapons of mass destruction." [President Bush, 2/6/04]

12. Creation of the 9/11 Commission
BUSH OPPOSES CREATION OF INDEPENDENT 9/11 COMMISSION... "President Bush took a few minutes during his trip to Europe Thursday to voice his opposition to establishing a special commission to probe how the government dealt with terror warnings before Sept. 11." [CBS News, 5/23/02]

...BUSH SUPPORTS CREATION OF INDEPENDENT 9/11 COMMISSION "President Bush said today he now supports establishing an independent commission to investigate the Sept. 11 terrorist attacks." [ABC News, 09/20/02]

13. Time Extension for 9/11 Commission
BUSH OPPOSES TIME EXTENSION FOR 9/11 COMMISSION... "President Bush and House Speaker J. Dennis Hastert (R-Ill.) Have decided to oppose granting more time to an independent commission investigating the Sept. 11, 2001, attacks." [Washington Post, 1/19/04]

...BUSH SUPPORTS TIME EXTENSION FOR 9/11 COMMISSION "The White House announced Wednesday its support for a request from the commission investigating the September 11, 2001 attacks for more time to complete its work." [CNN, 2/4/04]

14. Gay Marriage
BUSH SAYS GAY MARRIAGE IS A STATE ISSUE... "The state can do what they want to do. Don't try to trap me in this state's issue like you're trying to get me into." [Gov. George W. Bush on Gay Marriage, Larry King Live, 2/15/00]

...BUSH SUPPORTS CONSTITUTIONAL AMENDMENT BANNING GAY MARRIAGE "Today I call upon the Congress to promptly pass, and to send to the states for ratification, an amendment to our Constitution defining and protecting marriage as a union of man and woman as husband and wife." [President Bush, 2/24/04]

15. Nation Building
BUSH OPPOSES NATION BUILDING... "If we don't stop extending our troops all around the world in nation-building missions, then we're going to have a serious problem coming down the road." [Gov. George W. Bush, 10/3/00]

...BUSH SUPPORTS NATION BUILDING "We will be changing the regime of Iraq, for the good of the Iraqi people." [President Bush, 3/6/03]

The Lowest Common Denominator

2004-08-31T09:37:00.000-04:00

We, the TV addled people, in order to form a more confused nation would like to choose our leaders based on how folksy they seem, how much they can relate to my life and whether or not I would enjoy having a beer with them.
It is with these high standards in mind that we would like to elect a leader that can truly make the world a better place to live and one who can balance all of the intricate complexities of leading our nation.

Good luck.

You know what?
I'm pretty damn sick of this idea of the common folk.
I guess that fits in with being a liberal doesn't it?....I mean, we hear the talk show representatives of the common folk lumping the idea of liberalism in with other terms like "elite", "elitist" or "intellectual". It sounds just like a lib to act like they are better than the rest of society, doesn't it?

Whatever.
I do not care about an argument like this because I refuse to apologize for wanting more out of our leaders, more out of our societal mouthpieces and more out than this idea that a President must primarily appeal to the "common folk".

Here's what I'm talking about.

I like and value everyday "common folk". Our society would not function well without mechanics, carpenters, non-profit workers, bankers, bus drivers, retail managers etc......the list could go on and on.
But, when it comes to my financial planning or my taxes do I want to consult the everyday guy who took a couple of classes or do I want the most intelligent, most savvy, most educated and up to date financial planner/ accountant I can get?

Pretty obvious answer, right?

If I need brain surgery, do I want a general practioner making the incisions or do I want the most highly trained specialist I can get?

Pretty obvious answer once again.

If my child needed physical therapy would I be likely to want to work with someone who took some classes and had a working knowledge of the human anatomy or would I be looking for the highest rated and most lauded therapist around?

Again, easy answer.

So why when it comes to our leaders do we find that being an average person is a trait to be admired and being an intellectual is a bad thing?
I obviously understand that people on the whole want to like their candidate and they are most likely to like someone that they think they can relate to and more importantly, that can relate to them.
But I think this is a mistake.

I want a President that is clearly smarter than the average "common folk". I'm looking for a person with a wide array of knowledge and quality leadership experience in which they can prove that significant progress was made in multiple areas under their watch.
I want a person who can discuss international relations, environmental concerns, security issues, literature, Constitutional theory etc. and have more than just the talking points down.
Someone with a voracious appetite to know more, do more, achieve more.

In a nation of 250 million plus people...I have to believe that there are more than a few of these people. The type that can lead with courage and charisma and yet never leave a doubt that they have a substance that goes beyond the norm.
I'm ok with having a President that I might not enjoy having a beer with because they are thinking on levels and dimensions that I do not have the capacity for.
I crave that type of talent and leadership.
I do want a leader who is of the advanced "elite"
I'm not looking for a good neighbor dammit, I'm looking for a president and I'm looking for a good one.

If I was just looking for a folksy guy....well, I could go to the corner bar or to the White House. I might meet some interesting characters but I'm not going to find much leadership in either venue.

Jello Wrestling.....Winner Dad takes All !!

2004-08-30T12:52:00.000-04:00

So here's a non-sensitive, cave man idea....

Bush vs. Kerry
2 on 2......Jello Wrestling-No Holds Barred- the Winners dad gets to be President!!

Now, since the idea is mine, I get to set the betting line.
As of now, the Kerry girls are a two to one favorite over the Bush girls due to their serious height advantage and their ability to kick their opponents from about 10 feet away with those stilt-length legs.

Of course, don't count out the Bush twins!!
Jenna may be a dim bulb but she probably learned a thing or two about handling herself at those keg parties. And Barbara....well, we're not sure about her but if her Grandmother of the same name shows up at the match...God only knows what might happen!

This could be huge! This could be bigger than huge!
We could be talking pay-per-view!!!

But in the meantime........who are you laying your money on???